


Living Is A Problem Because Everything Dies

by DjinnHatesCold



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Animal Death, Anxiety, Drinking, Drug Abuse, F/M, Farming Badly, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Introversion, My First Smut, Past Relationship(s), Slow Burn, Smut, Social Anxiety, Unhealthy Relationships, plant death, shy dorks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-01-05 22:07:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 35,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18375017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DjinnHatesCold/pseuds/DjinnHatesCold
Summary: Lucy does her damnedest to get her grandfather's old farm up and running, but it's like swimming upstream against a waterfall. Inexperience, clumsiness, and plain ol' ignorance are her constant companions, but maybe a charming but shy doctor could pull her out of her own head long enough for her to move forward past her mistakes and into a brighter new future.





	1. That Old Familiar Arrival

Lucy sighed when she took her first steps onto her grandfather’s old farm property.  It was a sigh of relief, of apprehension, of something yet unnamed. Her heart pounded against her ribs as she scanned the scene: a small run-down cabin, a field of tall grass swaying in the breeze, a path cut sharply into the hills to the north, and some kind of broken structure of glass and metal in the distance.

The view beat the corporate cubicle farm of her recent past by a mile.

She hauled her one large suitcase up the rickety porch steps and into the musty, stale air of the one-room cabin.  An open window would hopefully solve that particular issue before bedtime. She got to work taking the old bedclothes outside and shaking the dust from them and cleaning up the best she could, not that there was much to clean.  The small table, single chair, and floor all needed to be rid of a thick layer of dust. By the time she was done with that task, visitors were knocking on her open door.

The mayor and local carpenter were pleasant enough people, despite the carpenter woman’s brusque comment about the state of her grandfather’s cabin.  The words didn’t bother her; she was hardly the authority on social graces. She wondered if she and that lady had anything else in common, not that Lucy would be going out of her way to make friends at first -- or probably ever if she was honest.  She had always been introverted to what most would consider a fault. She simply preferred the company of her own thoughts most of the time. Her grandfather had always encouraged her to seek deeper connections with people, and she would tell him again and again that she truly was fine being a loner.  He never seemed to understand how she could possibly go through life that way, but Lucy hoped that he had started to make peace with her point of view before he died.

That evening she leaned on the rail of the porch and considered the extensive list of things she would need to finish in the next few days to get any kind of progress made on turning this farm into a working enterprise that could support her beyond her meager savings.  It was daunting, but she was looking forward to the challenge. If all else failed she would simply return to the city, perhaps stay with her parents for a while, and start her life over once again. In a way that prospect was almost as appealing as starting her new life on Honeywine farm.  Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YUP, it's yet another farmer-steps-off-the-bus opening chapter. Hang in there, we'll get to the interesting stuff after we get this out of the way.


	2. Little Hospitals

A loud curse escaped Lucy’s mouth after a sharp, involuntary gasp.  She knew when she looked down that it was going to be bad even though the pain hadn’t registered yet.  She threw her grandfather’s old copper-colored hoe to the side and mentally braced for the sight of the wound she had inadvertently given herself.  She clapped a hand over her mouth to stop from crying out when she saw the gaping wound on her shin. Blood spilled down her leg and into her shoe, staining her muddy sock a dark crimson.  She was sure she caught sight of white bone.

Her mind raced as she dug for any memories she had left of a first aid course she had taken years ago, or anything her parents had ever mentioned about emergent trauma.  After splashing water on the wound and wrapping it as best she could with a reasonably clean handkerchief she kept in her back pocket, she hobbled into her cabin to elevate the leg and consider her next move.

This stupid mistake had the potential to be a huge setback this planting season.  She did have a small medical kit given to her by her parents before she left the city, and could probably stitch it up herself and be back in business in the next few days, but what if she caught an infection?  No, she knew she had to take her first trip into Pelican Town. She knew there was a clinic there, and just maybe this small town in the sticks would have a competent medical professional. 

By the time she limped into town it was late afternoon.  She collapsed against the doorframe of the clinic and tried the knob.

Locked.  Of course.

She groaned.  Now what? In frustration, she beat her fist against the door.  To her surprise, it swung open. 

“O-oh my goodness!” the man standing there looked absolutely shocked.

“You a doctor?” Lucy croaked.

“I- um...yes?”

“Help, please?” she gestured to her leg, which was oozing blood through her makeshift bandage.

The doctor helped her inside.  The tiny exam room appeared to be stocked with modern supplies.  She had rather unfairly expected some kind of old-timey setup, with thick glass bottles of chloroform and cocaine and antiquated instruments.  Thankfully the bespectacled man took out a proper suture kit with everything sterilized and sealed as it should be. She grimaced as much from her ridiculous preconceptions as from the saline gently flushing the wound.

“You must be the new farmer everyone has been asking about,” the doctor remarked as he swabbed her leg.  “I’m Doctor Harvey.”

“Lucy,” she breathed tightly, followed by a strangled gasp as the doctor touched a particularly sensitive spot.

“I apologize, I’ll get this numbed for you as soon as I can.”

“Appreciated,” she squeaked.

Once the anesthetic faded the pain and Dr. Harvey began working on the necessary inner sutures Lucy was finally able to calm down.  She hadn’t realized that nearly every muscle in her body had been tense since the incident happened, and now that the adrenaline was wearing off she began to feel the full weight of her ordeal.  She tried to relax and watch the doctor work. Seeing the inside of her leg wasn’t making her feel any better, so she focused on the doctor himself. He was a tall man, perhaps in his early thirties, with a mustache that did indeed make him look slightly old fashioned.  

When he was finished suturing he pushed his stool back from the exam table and appeared to smile slightly at his handiwork.  When he looked up at Lucy’s face the uptilted corner of his mouth twitched and he coughed lightly into his hand. “I’ll just get this bandaged and you’ll be on your way.  If you’re new to farming you really need to be more careful and take care of yourself. This could have been much worse and it’s quite a walk to town from your farm.”

Lucy furrowed her brow and stared at him.  Was this man scolding her over an accident?  As if she was some kind of reckless child? Like she didn’t know how long it took her to get to the clinic?

The silence that she let grow between them clearly made the man uncomfortable.  He blushed fiercely and coughed into his hand again. “Ah- anyway, I’ll go get those bandages.”

 

Once back home and sat upon her bed with firm instructions to stay off her leg as much as possible for the next few days, Lucy seethed as she stared into the light of the fireplace.  The nerve of that man! Did he talk to all his patients with the same tone of smug superiority? Now that she thought about it, every doctor she had ever seen back in the city had said similar things over much less.  Maybe it was something they taught in medical school. It reminded her of her old boss at Joja, who appeared to delight in public shaming during department meetings of anyone who had the audacity to make a mistake.

She started and yelped when the crutches she had propped against the table abruptly clattered to the ground.  The sudden jolt of new adrenaline burned like fire through her deeply exhausted body. She burst out laughing, then moved under the covers to go to sleep even though the sun had only just dipped below the horizon.  Fuck that guy, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just when you thought this couldn't get any more cliche... BAM! Farming accident and a visit to Harvey! 
> 
> Hang with me, dear reader.


	3. Many of Horror

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things finally start to get interesting. And Lucy gets trashed.

By mid-fall Honeywine Farm had become a respectable little operation.  She had several harvests under her belt, although modest by modern standards, that had allowed her enough funds to have Robin the carpenter build her a chicken coop.  Her four new chicks peeped and pecked at the ground and Lucy leaned contentedly against a fence rail just watching them scurry around on their tiny little dinosaur feet as the light cast longer and longer shadows on the ground.  She was proud of how much she had accomplished since she had arrived. She was excited that she still had so much land left to clear and carve into whatever purpose she desired. Maybe she would look into beekeeping next year. After all, given the farm’s name, she almost felt obligated to try her hand at brewing her own mead at some point.  For perhaps the first time in her life she felt purpose and fulfillment.

 

Lucy had just begun her day by letting the chicks out into the barnyard when she heard something that made her blood run cold.  It was the familiar sound of an old vehicle with an ailing engine, some kind of worn bearing or other such thing screeching from within its depths.   _ That better not be what I think it is _ , she thought.  With hesitation she peeked around the side of the barn and swore when she saw her unwelcome guest.  She stormed toward the house with fury in her eyes, the fortuitously placed metal rake she had grabbed from outside the barn resting on her shoulder like a bludgeon.  “What do you think you’re doing here?” she snarled at the smiling man who had just exited the rusted car.

“Babe!  So it is true!  You really moved out to the sticks.”

“I told you to  _ never _ call me that again, Tony.”

His smile never faltered.  “It’s good to see you again, Lucy.”

She now gripped the rake like a bat.  She had stopped far short of him with just enough space to ready a strike if she needed to.  “Get the hell off my farm.”

He held his hands up in submission.  “Wait! I can explain. I’m better now.  I got help.”

“The fuck you did.  Who told you I was here?”

“I, uh, kind overheard someone who works in your old department….”  His expression was sheepish now, and she could almost mistake it for real humility if she didn’t know him so well.  “It was like fate or something. I was at a restaurant and I was sitting behind these two women who happened to be talking about you.”

“You know I can’t believe a word you’re saying.  I don’t even know why I asked. Just turn around and drive your junkheap back to Zuzu.”

“Can you... just hear me out for a minute?” It sounded like he was pleading.  His voice even cracked the tiniest bit when he added a quiet, “Please?”

Shit.  All the memories came screaming back.  Memories of the beginning, when his voice had cracked the same way when he apologized for knocking into her at the skating rink the first time they met.  It did the same thing when he felt bad for putting raspberries in her oatmeal -- he forgot that she hated raspberries. And when he comforted her when she found out that her grandfather had died.  Looking back, she realized that he had a verbal tell when he was being sincere. At least he did back then. But was that something that he could change or control? She relaxed her attack stance just a hair.  She searched his blue eyes, his angular face, his body language for any hint of deception.

“Please?” he repeated.

Lucy’s mouth was a line.  Her voice was tight. She lowered the rake.  “Say what you came to say.”

“I-- I’m sorry about our last months together.  I wasn’t myself. I never wanted to hurt you.”

She remembered the blind rage that she had seen in his eyes just the year before.  How twisted his face and body looked. Her grip on the rake tightened. Her eyes narrowed.

“It was drugs.”

“I know it was drugs, Tony.  That doesn’t make any of it OK.  It doesn’t mean I forgive you.”

“You don’t have to.  I was just hoping that maybe -- and you don’t have to answer or… or… accept -- but maybe we could start from the beginning?”

Lucy lowered the rake and leaned on it.  She ran a hand over her face and inhaled deeply.  “You’re an ass.”

“I know.”

“You want a cup of coffee?”

 

She knew she had fucked up the moment she awoke.  She threw her blankets off and bolted out the cabin door, not bothering to put on shoes or a coat.  She ran, praying to Yoba -- or anyone, anything -- that she was wrong. It was unseasonably cold that morning; her footsteps left a trail in the frost that covered the ground and the vapor of her breath hung in the air.  She saw the clumps of small feathers and down. She saw the blood. Her heart was numb.

 

Lucy was two hours deep into the Stardrop Saloon when Harvey arrived.  He had to do a double-take when he glanced over at the dark booth in the corner.  “Gus,” he waved the barkeeper over to his corner of the bar. “Am I mistaken, or is that the new farmer lady over there?”

“She’s in a bad way,” Gus frowned.  “Usual for you tonight?”

“Thanks,” Harvey nodded.

It took him three glasses of wine to work up nerve to cross the bar to the booth.  She was motionless, staring into a mug of beer. He hovered over her awkwardly for what seemed like an eternity but she made no move to acknowledge him.  He lightly cleared his throat. No response. His cheeks were burning. He was certain everyone in the saloon was staring at him now. He took a shaky breath, screwed up his courage in the name of medicine, and sat down across from her.  “Uh, Farmer Lucy?”

Slowly she lifted her eyes to the intruder now opposite her.  She squinted, unable to focus on the man at first.

“Lucy I-- uh, I’ve been sending you letters.”

Still she remained silent.  Her bloodshot eyes never left his as she slowly lifted the mug to her lips and finished what was left.  The mug thudded down on the wooden tabletop and made Harvey jump. He took another deep breath. He just needed to apologize and retreat.

“I got ‘em,” Lucy slurred.

Harvey felt sweat beading on the sides of his neck.  “And you… are you… I mean, your stitches…?”

“Pulled ‘em.”

Maybe his needn’t have worried for so long.  She had every right to visit another doctor in another town for further care.  “Was it Dr. Amalie in Parrot City?”

“Nah,” Lucy waved her hand drunkenly.  “I pulled ‘em.”

“Yourself?!”

“Mm.”

“Lucy!  You really need to trust that sort of thing to a medical professional!  There are risks of infection, scarring, reopening… you have to take care of yourself out there on that farm!”

There he goes again, Lucy thought, with the sanctimony and lecture.  “I DID take care of myself, asshole.”

Harvey sputtered.  Not even Shane, the town crank, had spoken to him in that way before.  He was a doctor for Yoba’s sake! He had authority in this matter! “I--”

“You don’t know anything about me, Dr. Harvey.  Maybe I… mebbe…” Her finger was in his face now and she paused to let out a belch of gas.  “Mayyybe I can take care of myself juuuuus’ fine even if I can’t take care o’... o’... fuckin’....”  Her hand dropped to the table and he could see tears welling up in her eyes. “Fuckin’ anything.”

Harvey, whose indignation was suddenly replaced by something altogether different -- pity, perhaps -- couldn’t help but to inquire further.  “Did something happen, Lucy?”

“Fuck d’you care?” she snarled.  She wiped her eyes with her sleeve and slumped back against the booth.  

“I care because you are my patient,” he said quietly.  He hoped that the softening of his tone would diffuse the situation.  As it was, his heart was pounding nearly out of his chest and he could feel the sweat dripping down his back.  He didn’t know how much longer his nerve would hold out.

Lucy looked up at Harvey’s eyes again.  He looked different now. Smaller, somehow.  She didn’t know why, but instead of telling him to leave her alone, she kept talking.  “I had baby chickens… I mean… chicks. Four chicks.”

“It’s great that you’ve decided to diversify the biology of your farm.  Chickens are a wonderful way to--”

“I HAD chicks.”

Harvey flushed again.  He really needed to learn to keep his mouth shut and listen sometimes.  “...tell me what happened.”

“My ex showed up yesterday.  Jus’... fuckin’... there at my door.  Fuuuuck I’m thirsty.”

Harvey caught the eye of Emily behind the bar and signaled for her to bring them another round.  It was against his better judgement given the state Lucy was in, but he felt like he needed more wine himself.

Lucy continued when their drinks were refreshed.  “My ex… he’s a real dick. Yelled at me. Tried to hit me.  I left him before I left my job in the city.”

“Did he hurt you yesterday?”

She shook her head.  “No, no, no. Shouldn’ta let him in though.  I’m an idiot. We talked for a long time. He wanted to stay an’ I almost let him.  Fuck.” She took a long drink. “I mean, I got ahold of myself. Kicked him and his busted ass car offa my farm.”

“Lucy, did he do something to your chicks?”

“No!  Yoba, I woulda killed him with my bare hands.”

“Then--”

“I killed them.”  Harvey nearly dropped his wine.  That seemed to snap her back into a momentary sobriety.  “Not on purpose! Oh fuck, not on purpose.” 

Harvey continued to stare at her in horror.  

“I had a lotta shit that didn’t get done yesterday.  Cover the last of the crops for the night, check the heaters, refill the silo….”  She looked down into her mug. “Close the coop door.”

“I-I’m so sorry.”

“Maybe it was a fox, maybe a golem.”  Harvey noticed her head dropping closer to the table.  “Frost took the crops….” She went silent.

Harvey sprang up.  “It’s time to go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so the chapter title may be a bit overly dramatic, but it fits the theme and there are Similarities (Bravo to the 3 of you who get this joke).


	4. That Golden Rule

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dr. Harvey starts to question his integrity for the first time.

Her bed felt strange.  Her eyes were closed but something was off.  It was far too bright. Slowly she fluttered her eyes open but quickly had to cover them with her arm to ward off the harsh fluorescent glare.  When she did that she felt a painful tug. She squinted one eye open and saw a tube running from the back of her hand to a hanging IV bag to the side of the unfamiliar bed she found herself in.  She struggled to remember exactly what happened the day before.

Tony.  Right. And the chicks.  And the plants. She had gone to the Stardrop intending to bring home a couple of six-packs of beer and drink herself into oblivion but stayed when she realized she couldn’t go back to the farm just yet.  The thought of having to clean up her mess was far too painful. She vaguely remembered seeing Dr. Harvey, but the details of that encounter weren’t at all clear. And now she was in the clinic. Probably with a nice big clinic bill to boot.

When she had finally blinked enough to halfway keep her eyes open, she sat up an was startled to see the doctor in the room.  He was sleeping in a chair with his head propped up by his hand. His green tailcoat was draped over him as a makeshift blanket.  Though he was asleep, he looked troubled somehow. A few locks of his chestnut waves had fallen down over his face but Lucy could see creases in his forehead and it appeared his jaw was clenched.  He looked so vulnerable there in the corner of the room.

She had a sudden realization.  This man was the sole person responsible for the health and wellbeing of an entire town and she couldn’t imagine what that must be like.  There were no hospitals in Stardew Valley so the towns’ clinic doctors shouldered the burden of everything from yearly physicals to childbirth to emergency surgery.  That kind of pressure must surely weigh heavily on a person. Perhaps she had been too harsh in her judgement of Dr. Harvey before. 

He began to stir and Lucy abruptly realized the awkwardness of her current situation.  She panicked slightly and sunk back down in the bed. Should she pretend to be asleep? Should she say something?

 

Harvey stretched his limbs and was dismayed to find that his arm was little more than a dead weight hanging from his shoulder.  He must have fallen asleep in an awkward position-- Yoba! Did he really fall asleep in a patient’s room? He prayed he was wrong but when he opened his eyes his stomach dropped.  It was exactly as he had feared. How could he let himself be so unprofessional? 

He tried to stand.  It was then that he felt the first wave of nausea and a headache crash into him full force.  His knees gave in when he started to rise and he slipped back down into the chair. 

“Dr. Harvey?” came a voice from the patient bed.  Perfect. How much wine had he drunk the night before?  How much did that affect his patient’s care? He could lose his license if his judgement had been impaired too much.  He’d lose his practice. His home. Everything. Maru. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. His vision started to close in.  It felt like the blood was draining from his body.

His eyes rose and met those of the farmer’s.  

He felt a hand on his arm.  “Dr. Harvey! Are you alright?”

Time stopped.  The voice, the touch brought him back.

He was able to take a deep, gasping breath.  “Lucy, you’re… you’re awake.”

“Did you have a nightmare?”  Her brown eyes were filled with concern.  What an innocent question to ask.

Harvey rubbed his eyes, then his temples.  His head was still pounding. “I… no. N-not a dream.  I don’t feel… excuse me a moment.” He rose on shaky legs and moved as quickly as he could out of the room short of full on running.  He barely reached the bathroom in time to lift the lid of the toilet and vomit.

He managed to splash water on his face, rinse his mouth, and put himself back together enough to barely be presentable again.  He desperately wanted to go upstairs to his little apartment and collapse into bed, but his responsibilities this morning were not over yet.  When he returned to Lucy’s curtained-off section of the clinic ward she was sitting on the bed and pulling on her boots. 

“How do you feel?” he asked, trying to sound like he wasn’t fighting against a brutal hangover.  

“Honestly… I feel like a million bucks, doc.”

“You went through two units of saline last night.”

“I guess I may have overdone it last night at the saloon.”

“I suppose I can’t blame you too much given the...circumstances.”  Harvey cleared his throat. Did he go too far just now?

Lucy was quiet.  Oh Yoba, he did.

“I-I’m sorry I--” Harvey stammered.  His face was burning.

“I must have told you some things last night, huh.”

“Please believe that everything will remain strictly under doctor-patient confidentiality.  I was concerned you wouldn’t be able to make it back to your farm and as a medical professional--”

“Dr. Harvey?”

“Hm?”

“Thank you.”

Harvey’s blush returned.  “That’s what I’m here for,” he smiled.  He rubbed the back of his neck. He was going to need a shower and some serious rest.  Thank goodness it was Saturday and he had no appointments this weekend. Then he noticed Lucy scratching her hand.  “Your IV!” The line was no longer connected but the port was still taped to her hand. She must have ripped it out when she came over to him in the chair.  He frowned. This was most unprofessional indeed.

“It’s fine.  I disconnected the bag and clamped it.  No big deal. I can pull the port but I’m sure you’ll insist….”  She now wore a mischievous smile. What was with this woman? Most the town was queasy about the very thought of blood and the others were nearly outright hostile when needles were required.  He must have been giving her quite an odd look because she chuckled. “Both of my parents were nurses,” she explained. My dad went to nursing school when I was in high school. My mom and I would let him practice his IVs and shots on us.”

“That is a very… odd… family activity.”

Lucy let out a bark of laughter.  Harvey winced, a fresh bolt of pain cutting through his head.  She clapped her hands over her mouth. “Sorry, doc. How about you take this out and I’ll get out of your hair?”


	5. Modern Magic Formula

Mercifully, by the time Lucy got home the blustery fall wind had blown all traces of yesterday’s carnage away.  She sighed when she looked at the wilted remains of her last few crops of the season. She was hoping to eke out this last harvest and make enough gold to sink into the expansion of her cabin this winter.  Cooking on the fireplace hearth was charming enough at first, but she longed for the convenience of a proper stove and oven, not to mention a kitchen sink. The little microwave she brought from the city would continue to be run through its paces.  At least all the produce she had preserved and stored in her little root cellar over the year should be enough to get her through to her first spring harvest with only a little supplementation from JojaMart or Pierre’s. Still, she had hoped to also upgrade her farm tools as well, and now she had to decide where best to spend her earnings.  She was planning on doing a lot of winter foraging to earn a little spending money, but she also had to think about the seasons ahead. She needed to start stockpiling resources like wood, stone, and clay before she got too mired down in caring for her crops. Perhaps she would finally take the time to explore that mine up in the mountains. Surely she would be able to find some good, useable resources in there, and surely it had to be more pleasant than chopping trees in a winter storm.

Winter on the farm was already shaping up to be overwhelmingly busy, and fall wasn’t even through with her yet.

 

A week later and the first winter storm had already cloaked the valley in a foot of snow.  The thick clouds had finally moved on and today the sky was a stunning clear jewel blue. Lucy had never loved the cold, but she did appreciate the simple beauty of the winter season.  She was trudging along stiffly on an old pair of snowshoes she had found in the ruins of an old building on the farm. They looked to be from before even her grandfather’s time but were surprisingly effective at keeping her on top of the snow despite her clumsy, unpracticed gait.  By the time she reached the town square she was sweating, having shed her wool hat and scarf and unzipping her thick parka 30 minutes prior. She stopped to rest on the stairs that let up to the park north of town and also to remove the snowshoes. Pelican Town’s cobblestone square and walking paths had been cleared of snow so she tied them to her backpack for the return trip.  While she had her bag off she dug through her wet winter accessories and paper-wrapped field snacks that she brought along just in case and pulled out the precious package that was the reason she traveled to town this morning. 

The bells hung above the clinic door to announce arriving patients jingled cheerfully when Lucy stepped in.  A young woman sat at the front desk filing papers into patient records. Lucy didn’t realize Dr. Harvey even had a receptionist, but then again this was the first time she had been to the clinic during normal business hours.  The woman smiled cheerfully. “Good morning! How can I help you?”

“Hello, is Dr. Harvey in?”

“He is.  Do you need a medical checkup?”

“No, I just wanted to speak to him for a minute.”

The woman looked slightly disappointed.  “I’ll go and get him for you. Oh, and if you need any tonics or remedies for the road, just let me know.  We sell them here too.”

Lucy nodded and wandered into the waiting area to idly inspect the posters on the wall.  

“Farmer Lucy!  I’m glad to see you in good health today.”  Harvey was smiling warmly when he came out of the back.

“Good to see you too, doc.  And I’m happy to report no injuries or ailments today.”

“In that case, what brings you to the clinic?”

“I wanted to say thank you again for all that you’ve done for me since I came to town.  And I wanted to let you know that I never received a bill for that last… incident.”

Lucy glanced past Harvey and saw the receptionist, who had returned to her place behind the counter, slow down what she was doing and evidently try to covertly eavesdrop on their conversation.  Stealth must not have been the lady’s particular forte.

Harvey shook his head and continued smiling.  “Don’t worry about that. It’s no problem, really.”

“I… don’t know what to say.  Thank you again, Doctor!” 

The receptionist was frowning as she tried to look busy.  

“I also brought you a gift.  I didn’t want this to look like I’m trying to bribe you for a lower medical bill or anything, but I guess I don’t have to worry about that anyway.”  She handed him the large jar she had tucked in the crook of her arm. “Veggies from my farm. I don’t know how you feel about pickles so I brought you the variety pack in case there’s something in there you’d enjoy.  And if not, well, you should eat them anyway because they’re good for you.” Her mischievous grin was back.

Harvey held up the jar and marveled at the colorful vegetables inside.  “Pickles! They’re one of my favorite things. Thank you!”

Lucy beamed.  “You’re welcome!  It’s just a little something to brighten up your winter.  You’ve been too kind to me.”

“Not at all.”  Harvey felt his cheeks turning pink again.  “It’s n-no trouble at all.”

“Well, I better keep moving.  Tons to do on the farm. Take care, Doc!”  She waved as she stepped out the door.


	6. Friends and Enemies

Maru frowned and bit her lip.  Dr. Harvey was standing at the counter, still turning the jar to look at the contents within, a half smile on his face.  “Dr. Harvey,” she started, wondering if she should even continue, “I know it’s not really my place, but are you really giving your services away for free?”

It was Harvey’s turn to frown when he looked at his employee.  Maru shrunk into her chair a bit, regretting her question immediately.  Oh well, might as well keep going now.

“I mean, we have so few patients as it is…”

His face softened before he spoke.  “It’s really not… like that. Just a couple bags of saline.  I don’t want you to worry, Maru. I appreciate your help around here and if there is ever a need, I promise that you and I will have a conversation long before anything happens.”

Maru relaxed.  Dr. Harvey might have been the kindest man she had ever met, and she never knew him to be irresponsible.  Of course he would let her know if she needed to start looking for a new job. “Thanks,” she smiled.

With Harvey off to deliver his gift up to his apartment, Maru’s thoughts turned to Farmer Lucy.  She had heard her mom talk about her back when she first arrived at the beginning of the year, and of course the town rumor mill had been in full effect, but she had not seen her before today.  Her mom almost made it sound like she was some kind of hobo recluse, like the so-called wild man who lived in a tent in the mountains behind their house, but with indoor plumbing. Harvey never mentioned meeting her before and she hadn’t seen her file.

Feeling more than a little shady, she located the farmer’s file on the shelf.  The only incident in it was a laceration back in the spring. What was the saline for?  It wasn’t like Harvey to have incomplete records. She noted the woman’s birthday -- the same date as Dr. Harvey’s but two years later.

She put the file back into its place on the shelf.  Was life in Pelican Town so dull that she needed to manufacture drama?

 

Harvey was standing in his kitchen with the refrigerator door open.  The big jar of pickles looked so much more cheerful than his meager collection of condiments and convenience food.  He wondered what it would be like to live on a farm, to grow your own fresh food, and to have the resources to cook healthy meals.  Maru was right; he shouldn’t be giving away anything for free when he was barely scraping together enough to pay the bills. He had managed to justify his charity the week before, but now he was struggling.  But what was done was done, and the winter cold and flu season was about to pick up.

His mind wandered back to the farmer.  In the time between his evening of mortifying impropriety and today he had managed to force himself to forget about the incident entirely, lest it add to the already heavy financial burden at the root of his anxiety.  But now that he had been in her presence again only minutes before, he felt  _ strange _ .  There was something about seeing her that he couldn’t put his finger on.

He realized he had been standing in front of his open refrigerator for far too long and shook his head to try and clear his thoughts.   _ Pickles _ , he thought with a small smile.   _ How adorable. _

 

A week later the pounding on her cabin door nearly made Lucy jump out of her chair where she was just about to take her first experimental stroke with a whetstone against the blade of her grandfather’s old axe.  She dropped them both back on the table with a sigh and opened the door, intent on giving the loud knocker a piece of her mind. It was a one-room cabin; how hard did they really need to pound?

She was met with a rough-looking man in a blue hoodie awkwardly balancing a large wooden crate against the doorframe.  “Delivery from Marnie’s ranch,” he huffed.

“I didn’t order--”

“There’s a note,” he cut her off.  “Where do you want this? It’s heavy.”

“Uh, you can set it on the table, I guess.”  She opened the door wider and made to help the man with the other side of the crate but he put his body between her and the box so that she couldn’t reach it.  She stepped to the side and he deposited it more gently than she expected.

“Joja, huh?” she said, pointing to the logo on the man’s hoodie.  He grunted in reply. 

“See you,” he said, moving swiftly to the door.

“Uh, I guess.  Thanks.” Her last word came out as more of a question but the man was already stepping off her porch and headed back down to Marnie’s.  So there were people in this town more socially awkward than her. That was strangely comforting. He seemed familiar but she couldn’t place it.  Anyway, she had a surprise package waiting for her.

She removed the envelope stapled to the outside of the crate.  Inside was a small note on stationary with cutsie country sheep in one corner and cows in another.  

 

Dear Miss Lucy,

I received some extras from my supplier and thought you might like to expand your flock sooner than we discussed.  If not, just let me know and I’ll send my nephew Shane to take them off your hands.

 

Marnie

 

She unlatched the box and found four tiny chicks and a bag of feed on a bed of straw inside.  Her eyes started burning with tears from a mixture of emotions. Here was this incredibly kind gesture from the experienced rancher to a novice farmer, but was Lucy at all ready to be responsible for four new lives after the disaster of the first batch?  She stared down at the little fluffs, who had begun to peep when she opened the crate. 

_ Of course _ she would take them in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's Maru's deal, anyway? We shall see.


	7. Too much, too much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucy hits the mines. The mines bludgeon back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, there are only so many Biff songs I can use as chapter titles.

Once she had explored a few floors of the old mine up in the mountains, and had come to terms with the fact that a strange one-eyed man in a cape had given her an old sword, and the fact that she had had to actually  _ use _ it already, Lucy found an adventurous side of herself that she didn’t know was in her.  Exploring the mine was actually  _ fun _ .  She was clumsy with the battered old sword, but it was effective enough in dispatching the awful slime monsters lurking in the darkness.  The first time she saw one she had no idea that it was alive, much less dangerous. It had suddenly charged her and left her nearly paralyzed and in pain with some kind of venom.  She thought for sure that she was going to die that day, but thankfully the effect wore off quickly and she brought the blade down on the creature with a mighty yell. A few ungraceful hacks later it was a flat puddle of goo in the dirt.  By the time she was three floors down she learned that offense was her best defense and didn’t wait until they were able to run up on her before she attacked.

Besides slaughtering odd creatures in the dark, she was able to use her pickaxe to find some interesting ore and a couple of pretty quartz crystal clusters.  She hoped the local blacksmith would buy them from her so she’d have another source of income this winter. 

Feeling confident, she rounded a corner and almost ran directly into the largest slime monster she had seen yet.  It was as tall as her and over twice as wide. She gripped her sword and swung several times, hoping its size wouldn’t make it that much tougher to beat than its smaller kin.  To her horror, the thing split apart into five separate tiny slimes that proceeded to swarm her and paralyze her with their venom. She couldn’t move her legs, but she could just barely swing her sword, but it seemed futile in the onslaught of their attacks.  The pain was becoming unbearable. If she could just move her legs and run for the exit…

She fell, hit her head on the stony floor, and then there was nothing.

 

“Lucy.”

“Nnnn.”

“Lucy, can you hear me?”

“Nnn….oowwww.”

Her eyelid was pried open and a light was shined inside.  She winced and tried to swat whatever it was away from her face but her arms felt like floppy rubber hoses with bricks tied at the ends.  Her head was absolutely throbbing.

“You were in an accident.  Do you remember?”

“Nnn-nnn.”

“You’re in the clinic.  You have a head injury. Don’t try to move.”

“Mmm.”

Harvey gently lifted her other eyelid and shone his flashlight to check her pupil response.  This time she didn’t try to resist, but the results of the test gave him concern. He gave her a shot of mild sedative before beginning the work of suturing the large gash running from the side of her forehead to the middle of her skull.  Her hair was matted with blood and it had run all the way down into her boots on one side; Linus and Marlon had also been soaked from carrying her in but they had both refused his offer to clean up in the clinic’s shower, promising him that they had no open wounds to be concerned about and to go straight to the spa.

_ Now don’t you go trying to take these out yourself, farmer, _ Harvey thought as he finished the last stitch.  There were fourteen in all, standing out starkly against the newly shaved line in her pale scalp.  After wiping away the mess of iodine, disposing of the sharps and the rest of the medical waste, and tucking her comfortably in bed, he sat down on the stool in the corner and watched his patient rest.  Now that he had sewed her up twice he wondered how many more times they would be meeting this way. What in the name of Yoba was she doing in the mines, anyway? When she was brought in Marlon had propped an old, rusty sword next to her backpack in the corner.  He insisted that it belonged to her. Harvey wanted to question him further -- who else would she have gotten a sword from in the Valley -- and scold him for even entertaining the idea of her flailing a giant knife around in a dark mine.

He stood up, checked her pulse and blood pressure one more time, then dimmed the lights as he left the room.  It was going to be a long night for him. Unlike the last time, he could not fall asleep while there was a patient in the hospital.  Thankfully Maru would be coming in the next day and she could keep watch on Lucy while Harvey got a quick nap upstairs. Until then, he would have to rely on strong coffee and medical reports to keep him awake.  He returned shortly with his papers and mug, but he found himself unable to concentrate on them. He turned in his stool to look at his patient again.

She appeared to be in a slightly fitful sleep, with frown lines twitching between her eyes and an occasional grimace sweeping across her mouth.  He noticed a spot of blood on her cheek that he had missed before and gently swabbed it away with an alcohol pad. Her skin was smooth, save for the barest of wrinkles appearing on her cheeks, indicative of someone who smiled a lot.  Thinking about her smile had Harvey blushing there in his seat and he pulled his hand away to feel the warmth on his face. There was that strange feeling again, but this time he recognized it. The last time he felt like this he was still in medical school.

He rolled his stool back to the desk and busied himself with shuffling through his papers.  This couldn’t be. He was tired. He had to be mistaken.

Hadn’t he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harvey's got a cruu-uush!


	8. With Halos In Your Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which feelings are subject to scientific analysis.

Lucy groaned when she realized where she was.  Her head felt stuffed with cotton. Even her eyes felt sluggish as they scanned the small hospital room.  A beeping noise rang from beyond her view and grew louder until Harvey appeared around the cloth partition to silence whatever machine was setting off his pager.  “You’re awake! Great news,” he said.

“Hhharrrr…”

“Shh, give yourself time.  You had a concussion and a sedative.”  He pulled out that damn pocket flashlight again and shined it into each eye.  “Marlon and Linus brought you in last night. They found you in the mines.” His mustache drooped with his frown.

_ Cute _ , Lucy thought,  _ expressive facial hair _ .

“Wiggle your fingers and toes for me.”

She did as she was told.

“Good.  Are you nauseous?”

She nodded.

“Go ahead and vomit if you need to.  Do you think you can swallow some pain pills?”

“Yeah.”  Her voice was raspy and soft.

“Let me help you sit up.”  When she was in a more upright position he handed her a cup and some tablets from the desk behind him.  When she was done he eased her back down. “You’re going to have a headache for a while.”

“Whaaa time…” she slurred.

“Around oh-three-thi-- er, 3:30 AM.  You should get some more rest. We’ll talk more later this morning.”

She closed her eyes without protest and slept.

 

When she woke again the lights were still dimmed and she had no idea how long she had been asleep.  She was momentarily dismayed and strangely giddy about being back in Dr. Harvey’s clinic. She considered this odd thought for a moment and arrived at the conclusion that the concussion had obviously scrambled her brains.  As she groaned and tried to will her body into sitting up, movement caught the corner of her eye.

“Miss Lucy, hey.”  It was the young woman from the reception desk.  She had been sitting in the corner tapping away at her phone.  She walked over to the bedside and smiled at her.

Lucy squinted at her.  “H-hi… I’m sorry, I don’t remember your name.”  It felt strange to string so many words together, but thankfully she wasn’t slurring anymore.

“Oh!  I’m Maru.  I think you met my mother when you first came here.  Robin, the carpenter?”

“Oh yeah, sure.”

Maru handed her a cup and some more pain pills.  Dr. Harvey asked me to give these to you. He’s upstairs taking a nap.

“What time is it?”

“A quarter after 11.”

“Um… AM or PM?”

“AM,” Maru chuckled.  “How are your stitches feeling?”

“Stitches?”

“In your head.”

Lucy brought her hands to her head and winced when she found the angry line of sutures.  “Shit, I didn’t even know.”

“Don’t worry about it.  Is this your first concussion?”

She nodded and immediately regret it.  “Gonna need these,” she winced and downed the pills.

“The last time Alex was in here for a concussion he threw up here, over there, in the hallway, the bathroom, the waiting room…” she giggled.  “I don’t know what the guy ate but there must have been a lot of it.”

“I will try to restrain myself,” Lucy grimaced.  She had no idea who Alex was but the picture in her mind was of a rotund middle-aged guy with thrill issues.  She wondered if she had ever passed by him on her way to the store. Not that she would have noticed.

“You must be really brave.”

“Wh-- me?  No way.”

“Is that really yours?” Maru pointed to the sword in the corner.

“Yes,” she replied slowly, “for all of a few hours.”

“I don’t live too far away from that mine.  My parents absolutely forbade me and my brother from ever even stepping foot inside.  I hear there are some valuable minerals in there though. Was it scary?”

“I didn’t think so at first, until I was attacked.”

Maru’s eyes were as big as saucers.  She was about to inquire further when the doctor stepped into the room.

“You’re looking much better, Lucy.  I’m sure Maru has been taking good care of you.”  He smiled at them both. Lucy could see the bags under his eyes even in the dim light.

“I hope you got some rest too, Dr. Harvey.”

“A couple of hours.  More than I got during my residency.  It’s just a part of the job.” He put a hand on Maru’s shoulder.  “I can take over from here. Thank you, Maru.”

“Any time!” she beamed.

He watched her exit and Lucy wondered what sort of relationship was between them.  She was no expert on people, but it seemed like the way the good doctor looked at her was just slightly off plumb of a strictly boss-subordinate relationship.  Strangely, she felt a little pang of something in the pit of her stomach. 

He turned back to her and the feeling changed.   _ It must be the concussion _ , she thought.   _ Scrambled brains _ .

“I would be remiss if I didn’t mention how incredibly dangerous your little adventure was,” he frowned.  “This could have been so much worse. As your doctor I’m imploring you to please take care of yourself.”

Again with the scolding?  She frowned right back at him.  “So you’ve mentioned before.”

“Well, it’s for good reason.”  He shifted his gaze and cleared his throat.  “Anyway, do you think you can stand?”

 

He stood watching the clinic door for a few moments after it closed.  He had sent Maru to walk Lucy home with strict instructions of no hard labor for 48 hours.  He ran a hand over his face and sighed deeply. Thankfully Maru was able to reschedule his one appointment of the day so he locked the door made sure to flip the sign to  _ Closed _ .  He trudged upstairs to his apartment and flopped down onto a couch.  He knew he should just go back to bed, but he found himself once more unable to get Farmer Lucy out of his mind.

He felt a connection to all of his patients, something that was easy to do when they all shared the same small town as him.  But Lucy, this newcomer, felt completely different. Was the newness it, though? Doubt started to creep in. A new person was a novelty; it made sense that his mind wanted to latch onto the data outlier.  He was sure that with time she would become just another patient. There really wasn’t anything empirically different about her wavy, espresso-colored hair, the way her bob framed her heart-shaped face, the delicate bow of her lips, her caramel-colored eyes that sparkled in the sunlight that first day they met...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really excited about where this is going.
> 
> And I have a secret.
> 
> I'm writing some smut to go with this. Teehee. I've never done that before. Anyway, more on that later. Shh!


	9. When the Day Wears You, Create Simple Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friendship is magic. Or so Lucy's heard.

“You’re going so far out of your way.  Really, I’m sure I’ll get home fine.” Lucy wasn’t entirely sure about receiving another visitor to her farm.  After Shane’s surprise visit only days ago, and her asshole ex before that, she was starting to feel like her personal space was being invaded again.  It was nothing at all like living in Zuzu city, of course, but out here in the Valley she had expected to be, and looked forward to, going weeks without seeing another human face.

“It’s really no trouble at all, plus it’s my job,” Maru replied.  “I’ll just take the back route home. It’s not as far out of the way as you’d think.”  She then stopped and looked at Lucy conspiratorially. “Can you tell me about what happened in the mines?”

Lucy shrugged.  “There’s some weird slime monsters down there.  And bats. I just got overwhelmed, I think. I don’t really remember much.”

“I heard there were monsters, but I didn’t think that was anything other than grown-ups trying to keep kids from falling down a mineshaft.”

Lucy thought it odd for her to use the word  _ grown-ups _ .  Maru was much younger than her, but certainly she had to be well into adulthood.  She guessed her age as something around her early twenties. “How long have you been working at the clinic?” she asked.

“Oh, about two years now.  Harvey has been really nice about letting me work there part-time so I can focus on school.  I also help him out with anything mechanical or when anything goes wrong with one of his medical devices.  Plus that ancient computer of his.”

“School, huh?”

“Yeah, I’m taking classes in electrical engineering.  I think my dad wanted me to go into biology like him but I want to get better at making my inventions.”

“Oh.”  Lucy tried to think of a smooth way to ask the question that was really burning on her mind but was struggling with the words and home was only about five minutes away.  “So… you and the doctor seem close. Does he ever... help you with your homework?” She cringed at the words leaving her mouth. 

If Maru found her question strange she gave no outward indication.  “I’m usually the one answering questions for him,” she laughed. “He’s such a nice guy.  He even has a pretty serious radio upstairs to listen to air traffic. I’ve had to do a couple of repairs on it and I showed him how to boost the reception.  He’s pretty lucky to have me around.”

“Oh, are you two seeing each other?”  She surprised herself with this question.  She wasn’t usually this forward with anybody about anything.  But, she figured, if Maru was offended she could always blame it on the concussion.

Maru stopped in her tracks again.  “Me and-- oh, ha ha ha!” She put a hand over her face.  “No, no. It’s not like that. He’s a nice guy but not really my type.”

Lucy found herself breathing a sigh of relief, but realized with horror that Maru had noticed.  She was looking at her with a slightly tilted head and lopsided smile.

“He’s definitely on the market,” she said with a knowing look.

Lucy rubbed the back of her neck and blushed.  “No, it’s-- that’s not-- I mean...”

“Miss Lucy, those pickles might have been the best thing you could have possibly given him.  He likes coffee and wine, too.” She gave her an exaggerated wink.

“O-oh, thank you for the intel.  And please, you can just call me Lucy.  But seriously, I’ve never considered… Dr. Harvey… you know….”

“Lucy, you just let me know anytime you have any questions about our good doctor.  He’s a little shy and anxious, but I can tell that he’s lonely.”

“Shy,” she snorted, “That’s not what I would have guessed.  He sure loves to give unsolicited and slightly condescending medical advice.”

Maru chuckled.  “It’s all a front.  He’s a big, frightened kitten and he uses his status as a doctor as a prop.  He really does mean well.” They had reached the front porch of Lucy’s cabin.  Maru handed over the backpack she had carried from the clinic. “Let me give you my number.  If you ever want to talk or hang out or anything, just let me know!”

The hair on the back of Lucy’s neck stood up.  Did she just make a friend? “Thanks, Maru. I really appreciate all your… um, help.”

 

Once the chicks were fed and she was comfortably settled inside with a roaring fire, Lucy needed to sit down and process the conversation that took place on the walk home.  Why in the world did Maru think the she had some kind of crush on Harvey? He was her doctor, for crying out loud. The man had seen her at her most vulnerable on more than one occasion.  She would be mortified if it seemed like she was leading him on in any way.

Really, Dr. Harvey.  The pompous, gangly guy with the dorky mustache.  He always wore that frumpy green tailcoat and she had seen fluffy red earmuffs -- what man wore earmuffs these days? -- in his pocket.  

She did have to admit that that particular shade of green complimented his hazel eyes extremely well.  She remembered how the flecks of emerald green had shined in his kind eyes when she brought him those pickles.  And the way his hair looked unruly but not unkempt. And how his neatly trimmed mustache exaggerated his emotions.  

_ Okay, so he’s kind of cute _ , she thought.  

But then her thoughts of the doctor were interrupted by memories of Tony.  He seemed pretty dorky when they first met too. He was definitely cute, but so, so frightening when he shoved her into a wall and demanded to know where she had been all day.

She shook her head.   _ I can’t believe I let that jackass in here _ , she raged to herself.  Her mood suddenly soured, she pushed up from the bed and retrieved a beer from the cooler she kept on the porch.  She stared into the fireplace as she drank. She couldn’t even begin to entertain the idea of a relationship with anyone just yet.  She had a farm to run.

_ “Take it easy for 48 hours.  Absolutely no hard labor around the farm.  No alcohol. Call me if you start vomiting uncontrollably or if you experience fainting spells.” _  Harvey’s words popped into her head.  She stared at the bottle in her hand, already ¾ of the way empty.  With a heavy sigh she trudged to the sink and poured the rest down the drain.  Her head was beginning to itch around the stitches. That reminded her that she hadn’t actually yet seen what they looked like yet and that sent her to the bathroom mirror.  She gasped, not expecting to see how gruesome her head looked. A rough line was shaved through her hair at a harsh angle. Her scalp was dyed orange from iodine and the ends of the sutures stuck out like spider legs.  She shuddered. She wasn’t excited that she had to wait the full 48 hours to be able to wash her hair, either. 

She flopped back down on her bed and looked around her sparse accommodations.  It suddenly felt impossibly small now that she didn’t have the option of puttering around outside.  “Well,” she said to the old, tiny TV, “I guess it’s just you and me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a medical professional, unless you count having seen every single episode of House at least twice, so if I'm getting anything horribly wrong here, PLEASE let me know in the comments.


	10. Fallen to Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Those tables be turnin'. Harvey has an accident and Lucy loses her damn mind.

Harvey stepped out into the cold afternoon, intent on getting his walk in for the day.  The sky was overcast and felt heavy. He headed down through the empty town square towards the river.  Water never really froze over with Stardew Valley being right on the ocean, but with this latest cold spell he wouldn’t be surprised if some of the smaller ponds in the area developed a shell of ice.  He walked quickly parallel to the water, intent on crossing the bridge toward the library, up past JojaMart, then back through the upper park area past the old community center and fountain. It was a loop he did often.  It was challenging enough to get his heart pumping but easier on his joints than the walk up to the mountains and the old rail station.

Ever since he got past the age of thirty the effects of time had come crashing down much more quickly than he had expected.  He had always had a tall, slim body type, but these days there was a small paunch to his gut and his knees cracked in protest every time he stood up or sit down.  He had joined the group of ladies in town who exercised together at Caroline’s house on Tuesdays a couple of times but wasn’t that excited about dance aerobics, and despite their kindness he felt intensely out of place as the only man amongst the women.  Thank goodness Maru wasn’t a part of this group, or Farmer Lucy for that matter, so they didn’t have to see him sweaty and struggling uncoordinatedly to match Caroline’s lithe movements. Maru held her post at the clinic next door on those days during Harvey’s “lunch” break.  If she knew he had joined these classes she never mentioned it, and for that he was grateful. Sweet Maru seemed to be immune to small town gossip anyway.

He felt the heaviness of guilt and shame that he always got when he thought about Maru.  There was no question that he was attracted to her, but making a move was absolutely out of the question.  First and foremost he was her boss, not to mention twelve years older than her. She was so kind and cheerful, always willing to lend a hand when one of his devices wasn’t behaving properly.  Time and familiarity had worn away the flustered anxiousness he always felt when in close company with another person and he hoped that by this time he might even call her a friend.

Friends were a bit of a scarcity in Harvey’s life.  He had many professional acquaintances, but friendship as a concept was something that he had struggled with his whole life.  He had always had terrible social anxiety and a fear of closeness in relationships, his personal insecurities always getting in the way of truly opening up to anyone.  Given all of that, he still wasn’t sure that he  _ could _ call Maru a friend.  It’s not like they ever talked about their hopes and dreams with one another.  So maybe she was just another acquaintance after all. A  _ close _ acquaintance if such a thing existed.

“Oh shiiiiiii---”  Suddenly he was horizontal, midair.  He had slipped on a patch of ice on the bridge by JojaMart and came down hard on one hand.  His face scraped against the cobblestone wall of the bridge. His hip and thigh on that side were already aching and his wrist felt like someone had driven a nail straight through his palm and up his arm.  He groaned and bit his lip in pain.  _ Great, just what the town needs, a doctor with a broken wrist during flu and ice season _ .  Carefully he returned to his feet, being cautious to keep the affected limb stationary against his chest.  He stomped back to the clinic, grateful at least that nobody else was out to try and strike up an awkward conversation with him.  By the time he got inside he was reasonably certain that it was only a sprain, not a break. He rifled through a drawer in the exam room, fished out a bandage roll and some gauze, and headed upstairs.

 

Lucy’s eye was drawn the moment she started down the stairs by the mountain river to two bright red spots in the snow on the bridge.  She immediately knew what it was, and chuckled.  _ Of course _ these were Harvey’s ridiculous earmuffs.   _ Yoba, is this a sign? _

She picked them up and stuffed them into her pocket.  She started toward her intended destination, the blacksmith’s shop across the river, but paused before she reached the other side of the bridge.   _ If this is a sign, it’s probably a detour sign. _  She sighed, shook her head, and went back across the bridge to get to Harvey’s clinic.

She was relieved to find the door unlocked though the sign read  _ Closed _ .  She poked her head in but didn’t see anyone in the reception area.  “Dr. Harvey?” she called. She stood there in the silence, seriously considering just leaving the earmuffs on the counter and leaving.  Something felt off, though, so she mustered the courage to open the doors that led to the exam room and hospital area. She nervously called out again, feeling like she crossed some kind of sacred line between the public and private areas of the building.  There was another set of doors straight ahead of her down the hall. She swallowed hard and moved toward them, hairs on the back of her neck standing on end.  _ I shouldn’t be in here _ , she thought.   _ This is weird and stalkerish.  They’re just earmuffs! _

She cracked one of the double doors open and listened.  Nothing.  _ Well, _ she thought,  _ I’ve come this far. _  “Dr. Harvey, are you there?”

“Um, hello?” came the reply.  Lucy nearly jumped out of her skin.  “Do you need medical attention?”

“N-no, it’s Lucy.”

Harvey appeared at the top of the stairs beyond the doors.  “Is everything alright?”

“I-- oh Yoba, your face!”  Without thinking she bounded up the steps to get a closer look.  “What happened?” she asked, fussing over the fresh scrape on his cheek and temple.

Harvey froze.  Suddenly Lucy was in his apartment and he didn’t know how to react.  Her hands were on his face, turning and tilting his head downward so she could get a better look at his wound.  Her fingers were moving his hair aside. “I- I um, I took a bit of a fall,” he laughed nervously. “Ice… you know...”  He was cringing inside from the words that were tumbling from his mouth. His mouth was dry and it was difficult to pull together a coherent thought.  Her hands were cold from the winter air and he felt callouses brush his skin.

“Are you OK?  What else hurts?”

Harvey sputtered and gently grabbed her wrist with his good hand.  “Lucy,  _ I’m _ the doctor here, remember?”

She gasped when she saw how he was holding his other arm against his chest.  A partially wrapped bandage hung down to his feet. “What’s wrong with your arm?”

Harvey sighed.  She was in full mother hen mode now, and he had dealt with the women of Pelican Town long enough to know that there wasn’t much he could do to stop her.  “It’s just a sprain,” he confessed.

She looked behind him at the furnishings of his apartment.  It was a tidy little studio, about twice as large as her own single cabin room.  A large table with a single chair stood just beyond the doorway. He had obviously just come from there by the way a pile of plastic and metal parts were pushed to one side and the plastic packaging from the bandage lay torn open.  A tea towel and an icepack sat next to it. His overcoat and familiar green tailcoat lay discarded on the floor. Lucy steered him back to his seat and pulled over the small stool that sat in front of an odd collection of equipment on a desk against the back wall.  “Let me,” she said, taking a hold of the bandage and giving him a look that offered him no other option. 

Resignedly he held out his arm to her.  He had managed to unbutton his crisp white shirt sleeve and it hung limply around his wrist.  She gently rolled the fabric up his arm before beginning to wind the stretchy fabric around his injury.  Harvey was impressed at her technique. Though slow, she applied just the right amount of pressure to the sprain.  This must have been another thing her family practiced together. “I found your earmuffs on the bridge and stopped by to drop them off.  Is that where it happened?”

Harvey nodded, unable to find his voice in the moment.  He cleared his throat lightly. “I wasn’t paying enough attention to where I was walking.”

“Really, Harvey.  You ought to take better care of yourself,” she deadpanned.  Her face was like stone. He sputtered again. Her facade cracked and she broke into a wide grin but said nothing.  She finished the wrapping with the metal clips and turned her attention back to his face. She took the gauze to the kitchen, returned with some of it wet, and began to gently dab at the scrapes.

Her face was so close to his now.  He could see the light smattering of freckles that dotted her high cheekbones and danced across her delicate nose.  He saw flecks of gold in her eyes that he hadn’t noticed before. He averted his gaze away from her face the best he could, unable to meet her eyes for more than a second.  Her touch was so gentle, like soft summer leaves brushing against his skin. His cheeks grew warm. 

Her fingers were on his cheek and chin, pulling him to face her.  She had set the gauze down and was now searching his eyes, needing him to look into hers.  He did, and the world went silent save for their breathing. Slowly, but without hesitation, she moved even closer and placed a light kiss on his lips.  They both froze there, lips barely touching, for a heartbeat. Instinctively Harvey closed the gap between them once more and kissed her back just slightly harder than she had kissed him.

A cold break of realization washed over her.  Her eyes widened and she pulled back. “I -- I’m sorry, Harvey, I don’t know what… I -- I should be going,” she stammered.  She pedaled backwards, nearly stumbling toward the stairs.

“Lucy, w-wait--”  Harvey felt glued to his chair, unable to make his limbs work the way he wanted them to.  He wanted to rush to her and pull her back into an embrace. He wanted to run his fingers through her hair and touch her cheek and kiss her some more.  But she was already down the stairs, through the doors, on the street, and he was still stuck to his chair moving in slow motion.

When Lucy was outside she stood with her back against the clinic door.  She thrust her hands into her pockets. “Fuck!” she whispered desperately when her hand found those stupid fluffy earmuffs.  Without thinking she cracked open the door just enough to toss them inside, then fast-walked away toward home, face beet red and sweating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been stewing on this chapter FOREVER and I was so excited to finally write it.


	11. Take The Pieces And Build Them Skywards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friendship is magic?

## 

Lucy ran into the chicken coop and slammed the door behind her, sending the chicks scattering.  She shrank into a corner and hugged her knees to her chest. She was breathing hard and tears threatened to spill from her eyes.   _ What have I done? _  If she wasn’t leading him on before, there was no question now.  He must think her completely insane now. 

The moment he kissed her back a flood of awful memories had chilled her heart.  Though Tony was behind her for months now, months that felt like a lifetime ago, his influence was still plaguing her.  She hated him even more for that. She wanted to pursue a relationship with Harvey, but her head and her heart were light years away from each other.

Two of the chicks approached her hesitantly.  She scooped them up and pet their heads gently with her thumbs.  They leaned into her her touch and peeped softly. Maybe it was for the best for her not to get involved with anyone when she had these little ones to take care of.  She set them down and went back to her cabin. She dug through the bathroom cabinet until she found what she was looking for: her grandfather’s old electric clippers.  She looked at herself in the mirror. The stitches in her head were about a week away from needing to come out but the wound appeared to be healing nicely. The hair that had been shaved away at the clinic had barely begun to take purchase again and the white streak of her scalp still stood out like lightning in a raincloud.  She set to work with the clippers and was left with a sink and floor covered in hair and a somewhat uneven undercut with shaved sides. 

She felt renewed, having shed her hair and some of the memories of her old life in the city like a snake sheds its skin.  She had come to Stardew Valley to start her life over after all. It was time to dig in and see what she was capable of on her own.

 

The snow gave way to a rainy, muddy spring.  Lucy had been stuck mostly inside, planning her crops and running between the house and coop to tend to the rapidly growing chickens.  Finally the day came when the rain finally ended, and though the blue sky and warm sun was still hidden behind the overcast gray, the small hint of spring’s warmth was enough to draw a cacophony of birdsong and squirrel chatter from the trees around the farm.  The chicken coop door was thrown open and the young birds were able to take their first enthusiastic scratches in the wet grass and mud. Lucy stood watching them ruffle their feathers and shake free from the dusty confines of the coop. A pair of bluejays argued above them, chickadees and robins chirped and chittered all around, and a family of baby squirrels chased each other across the branches and up and down the twisting trunks of a grove of budding oak trees.  

Satisfied that the chickens would be fine poking around for bugs on their own, Lucy turned her attention to the patch of ground where she last concentrated her crops.  It was littered with fallen branches and rocks -- how did those get there, anyway? -- but was too muddy to till. Even after clearing away the wood and stacking the rocks to the side for later use, there wasn’t much she could do today.  She checked her phone for the time. It was barely ten in the morning. She decided instead to text Maru.

 

> Got anything going on today?
> 
>  
> 
> Not yet, was going to help my dad with something later this afternoon.  What’s up?
> 
>  
> 
> It’s not raining
> 
> Want to take a walk?
> 
>  
> 
> Heck yeah
> 
> Meet you on the mountain path in 15
> 
>   
>    
> 

Lucy breathed out heavily.  It was unlike her to initiate any kind of social event, even a walk with a friend.  But spring in the valley seemed to hold so much promise for renewal and change that she had sent the texts without a second thought.  Now that they had been sent, however, familiar doubt was creeping back in.  _ I can do this _ , she thought,  _ I can have normal human relationships _ .  She marched up to the path on the north end of her farm, determined not to leave her friend waiting.

Maru greeted her with a cheerful smile and a slightly awkward hug.  “I love what you did with your hair!”

Lucy thanked her and they set off back down through Honeywine Farm.  They stopped briefly for Maru to coo at the chickens before continuing south toward the forest.  

“How excited are you to get back into the planting business?” Maru asked.

Lucy kicked a branch off of the path and turned around to grin and walk backwards in front of Maru.  “So much more excited than last year! When I got off that bus I didn’t know anything about making plants grow.  Now I feel like I can go into this with a full head of steam.”

Maru giggled.  “I’m happy to see you so excited about this!”

“I’m happy to be…” Lucy paused and thought for a moment.  “...happy.”

Maru grinned at her.  “It’s so nice to hear that for a change!  My dad has been driving my mom crazy all winter because he hasn’t been able to get out of the house and do the research he wants to do.  Sebastian is always so… well, Sebastian. And then I go to work and there’s Harvey moping around all day…” she trailed off, realizing she may have opened a can of worms that she hadn’t intended to.

“Harvey is mopey?”

Maru bit her lip.  “...yeah. Since he sprained his wrist.  Maybe he was just upset that he couldn’t do as much with one hand.”

“Bullshit,” Lucy said quietly.

Maru blanched.  “I, uh… what?”

Lucy felt like an idiot.  “I’m sorry. That wasn’t supposed to come out.  I’m sure he’s got plenty of his own problems to deal with.”  She felt intensely guilty about thinking for even a second that she could be the cause of Harvey’s mood over the last few weeks.  She frowned and rubbed at her arm nervously.

“Look, I know that something must have happened between you two.  I don’t know what and it’s really none of my business. But if there’s anything I can do for you as a friend, you just let me know.”

Lucy paused again.  “Maru,” she said softly, “Thanks.”  They walked slowly on in silence around the western shore of the forest lake.  Lucy stopped to pick up a pebble and skip it across the water. “I kissed him, and then I ran away.”

Maru raised an eyebrow but said nothing, instead waiting to see if Lucy would continue on her own.

“He probably thinks I’m nuts.  But it had nothing to do with him -- me running away, I mean -- and I feel awful about the whole stupid thing.”

“Would it feel better to talk about it?”

Lucy picked up another pebble and turned it over in her hand.  “I don’t know. I’m not so good at that.”

Maru threw her stone toward the middle of the lake.  It landed in the water with a plop. “You’ll get no judgement from me.  But don’t feel obligated.”

Lucy sighed.  She wondered if this was normal or if she was exceptionally lucky to call sweet Maru her friend.  “My last relationship was bad. It really messed me up. I just wasn’t ready to move forward but I didn’t realize....  I totally blew it with Harvey.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Maru said kindly.  “He’s obviously hung up on something, and I bet it’s you.  I could talk to him if you want.”

“No!” Lucy said, a little too quickly.  “N-no, but thank you.” She was absolutely mortified at the idea of anyone else cleaning up the mess that she made.  They were her pieces to pick up, if she even could.

They started walking again.  Lucy was surprised to find that she did actually feel a little better after talking to Maru.  In the city she had neither the time nor the desire to have close friends. Now that she was here, time didn’t seem so precious and she felt like the cold wall of isolation she had built up around herself was beginning to melt just a little.

“Hey, we haven’t talked about you yet,” she said. 

Maru gave her a lopsided smile.  “What’s to talk about?” she shrugged.

“You’re a young, attractive, single lady in the Valley.  Any prospects?”

“Oh, haha, not really.”  She was slightly flustered.  “I mean, I’ve been studying and working so much.  And my dad…”

“What about your dad?”

“He’d be so disappointed if anything got between me and my grade point average.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Lucy was indignant.  “Grades and relationships aren’t mutually exclusive, and you’re an adult!”

Maru groaned.  “I know… I’m just… still under their roof, you know?”

Lucy nodded in consolation.  “I get it.”

A small smile crept over Maru’s lips.  “I have a couple of crushes.” She was blushing now.  “But it doesn’t mean anything and you can’t tell anyone!”

“Besides you I’ve only got my chickens to talk to, but I promise not to tell them anything if it makes you feel better.”

“I’ll hold you to that.  OK, so… Elliott.”

“Who’s Elliott?”

“He’s the guy who lives in the shack on the beach.”

“The guy with the hair?”

“Heh, yeah, the guy with the hair.”

Lucy pursed her lips nodded.  “Alright, alright, I can see how those flowing locks could be appealing.”

Maru was blushing more furiously now.  “He’s completely impractical.”

“I’m pretty socially inept, but I think some people might take offense to being called impractical.”

“He’s a writer.  He doesn’t work. He likes long walks and staring at the river.”

Lucy held up her hands.  “You don’t need to justify anything!” she laughed kindly.

More comfortable silence passed between them as they continued to walk.  Lucy noticed out of the corner of her eye that Maru was still smiling to herself.  Lucy couldn’t help herself now that they were having an actual conversation as friends.  “You said a couple of crushes,” she prodded.

“Oh, um… Leah.”

“I don’t think I’ve met Leah.”

“She actually lives just up there on the bank of the river.  She’s an artist.”

“So ‘impractical’ is kind of your thing, hm?”

 

They had left each other  where the path split at Marnie’s ranch.  They hugged each other again, and this time Lucy felt a warmness, a real connection between them.  As she headed north towards home she felt a new lightness in her step, like the weights of her social life that she had been carrying for so long weren’t hanging quite so heavy around her neck anymore.  She entered her cabin and threw open all the windows as if to flush the ghosts of her past life out of her living space.

She was about to start making lunch when her phone buzzed from the table.  She wondered briefly if it could be Maru even though they had just parted. Maybe that’s how it went with friends -- she had no idea.  Grinning at her own ridiculous naivety, she put the phone to her ear and answered. Her face fell when she heard the voice on the other end.

“How did you get this number, Tony?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a while to re-tool the dialogue on this chapter. I think I'm satisfied enough with it to post. 
> 
> If anyone is still reading, you have all my thanks and you deserve all the tacos.


	12. Secure A Forward Motion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AWKWARD

Lucy stabbed at the ground around her row of sad, wilted plants with her hoe.  Her eyes and cheeks were swollen and raw from exhaustion and tears. She had gambled so much of her farm earnings on this early spring crop of cauliflower, but the unseasonably warm weather was  affecting their production. She had to make a decision to either cut her losses and replant another crop or wait it out and hope for the best. Though the decision was obvious, the thought of ripping her hard work out of the ground and spending what little was left of her cash reserves on a new batch of seeds was tearing her insides apart.

Sleep had been elusive as of late.  She was avoiding her phone even though she had blocked Tony’s number.  She had told him in no uncertain terms never to contact her again, but the thought of him knowing not only where she lived, but her phone number as well, was keeping her uneasy and irritable.  

She yelled and swung the hoe from over her head into a cauliflower plant over and over until she was thoroughly exhausted, then letting the tool fall from her fingers before retreating to the porch and the thermos of coffee that awaited her there.  With shaking hands she poured herself the fourth cup of the morning, emptying the thermos, and sat heavily on the steps. The still-hot coffee stung her cheeks and throat as she gulped it down and when she reached the bottom of her mug she tilted her head back to let the small layer of stray coffee grounds slide into her mouth.  She chewed on them while staring blankly ahead and wishing she could just go back inside and crawl back into bed.

She thought that she might as well head into town to get those seeds.  With luck she could eke out a crop of parsnips before the spring season was over.  Those were easy to grow, after all, and relatively foolproof. The gentle grunting of a chicken caught her attention and she noticed one of them, the one she referred to as “Fuzzbutt,” was pecking around behind the compost bin at the end of the porch.  “I should call you Fuzzbrain,” she said out loud. “There’s better stuff to eat out in the yard, idiot.” Shaking her head, she stood and started off down the road into town.

Her stomach always tightened a little bit when she took this route into town.  In order to get to Pierre’s store she had to pass directly by Harvey’s clinic. She had been lucky not to have run into him since the incident in the winter.  Even though that was over a month and a half ago, she still wasn’t ready to deal with the mortification of seeing him face to face. She held her breath and quickened her step until she was inside the store.  She was pleased to see that Maru was there looking thoughtfully at a cooler of soft drinks. Maru looked up at the chiming of the doorbell and waved cheerfully. Pierre gave her a smile. “Hi there, Farmer Lucy,” he greeted.

Lucy gave a small wave back in both their directions.  Maru met her at the counter, two cans of Joja Cola in hand.  “Pierre, why do you sell this stuff? I thought you hated Joja.”

Pierre’s face turned dark and he groaned.  “I do. But if people are going to buy that trash, they might as well buy it from me.”  He harrumphed and began ringing up Maru’s drinks.

“Fair enough,” Maru said.  “Sorry for being part of the problem, but my dad had a weird craving for it today.”

“I appreciate the business, Maru.  You’ll never get any judgement here at Pierre’s.”

Maru flashed him a grin.  “That’s why we love you, Pierre.”

“I love you because of your seeds,” Lucy said with a wry smile.  “Speaking of….”

“So soon?” Pierre said with worry in his eyes.

Lucy sighed.  “Bad year for cauliflower.  Or just a bad farmer. No judgements, right?”

Pierre held up his hands in a conciliatory gesture.  “I wouldn’t dream of it. Let’s get something else picked out for you.”

Maru, who had been waiting for Lucy, opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by another jingle of the doorbell.  Lucy’s back was to the door but she could see that the expression on Maru’s face changed when the newcomer arrived.  Her blood ran cold at the sight of her friend’s sudden deer-in-the-headlights look.

“Morning, Dr. Harvey!” Pierre called out.

Shit.

Lucy heard no reply, but the blood was pounding in her ears loud enough to mask the sound of a freight train.  Pierre carried on talking about seeds, oblivious to the thick tension in the store. Lucy quietly asked for a bag of parsnip seeds and tried her absolute hardest to will him into checking her out faster with her mind so that she could leave and pretend that today never happened.  She desperately wanted to go home and hide under the covers again.

Maru gave her a sympathetic smile and linked her arm around Lucy’s.  “Thanks, Pierre. Take care, now!” she said as she led her friend quickly to the door, being sure to position her body between Lucy and the side of the store where Harvey was.  Out of the corner of her eye Lucy saw him staring intently at a display of apples like one of them was a bomb to be defused. 

Once outside, Maru giggled nervously.  “Awkward!” she sing-songed. Lucy burst into laughter.  

“Thanks, Maru.  I don’t know what I wo--”

Every hair on her body seemed to stand on end when she heard the jingle of Pierre’s door once more.  As she feared, there was Harvey pink-cheeked and determined. Everyone froze for what seemed like an eternity.

Harvey’s face grew pinker by the millisecond.  Finally, he spoke. “Ah, Maru, could--” his voice squeaked and he coughed lightly, turning an even brighter shade of pink.  “Could I please have a moment of Lucy’s time?” Harvey was desperately staring into Maru’s eyes, unable to look at Lucy just yet.  Lucy was staring at the cobblestones at her feet.

Maru hesitated for a moment, but Lucy surprised everyone by answering him herself.  “It - it’s fine. I’ll call you later, Maru.”

Still hesitating, Maru unlinked their arms and nodded.  “Sure, see you later then.” She shot a strange and pointed look at Harvey before walking away up the stairs toward the fountain.

Lucy screwed up her courage and looked up at Harvey’s face.  Her face was burning now too. She was sure they looked like a couple of buffoons standing there in the town square with their awkward red faces.  

But when her eyes met his, the world seemed to stop again.

For a moment they stood just looking at each other before Harvey suddenly looked startled and he cleared his throat again.  “It’s good to see you again,” he said quietly. Lucy could only respond with the barest of nods. Her mouth had gone completely dry.  Harvey scratched his arm nervously. “Um, I… I’ve been meaning to call but I didn’t-- didn’t think....”

The spell that Lucy found herself under loosened its grip just enough for her to let out a sigh.  “I’m sorry too.”

“I -- you don’t have--”

“I’m sorry for what happened.  For… running away like I did,” she continued.  Harvey opened and closed his mouth a few times but stopped when he saw the pleading look in her eyes.  His face softened and he let her continue. “You didn’t deserve that. I was in a bad relationship and I just… it was bad timing.”

It was Harvey’s turn to sigh, but it was a sigh of relief.  “I’ll take bad timing over bad taste, I suppose.”

Lucy gave him a puzzled look while she tried to figure out the meaning behind his words.  As understanding dawned on her, she couldn’t help but to let out a small, nervous laugh.

Harvey wrung his hands together.  “I mean-- ah-- I didn’t mean to assume--”

Lucy put her hands over his to still his fidgeting.  “It was 100% bad timing on my part,” she smiled. “I’m sorry I was too much of a coward to tell you sooner.”

Harvey took her hands in his.  He was trembling slightly and pink was returning to his cheeks.  “I’m really glad we got this cleared up.” His smile was gentle, and just about the most beautiful thing Lucy had ever seen.  She felt her own blush creeping back again. They stood there just quietly smiling at each other until Harvey let her hands go with a soft chuckle.  “Well, I guess I’ll see you around,” he said.

Lucy nodded.  “Yeah,” she breathed, still smiling and already missing his large, soft hands on hers.

Harvey laughed nervously again.  “I should finish my shopping….” He trailed off and hesitated toward the shop door.

“Y-yeah, I should… go plant my... plants….”

“Ok, see you.”

“Yeah, see you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awkward dorks are awkward.
> 
> Sorry for the delay on this chapter, whoever's still with me here. I write documentation for a living and my current project has taken up most of my brainspace and time.
> 
> This was a short chapter, but I really wanted to end it where I did. The next chapter will hopefully come sooner than this one did.


	13. There's An End to My Horizon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn what happened with Tony.

Harvey collected his groceries in a daze.  He barely registered Pierre’s words and somehow managed to pay and return to his apartment without much conscious thought.  

_ She smelled like coffee _ .

After weeks of doubting himself, dragging himself along, and rooting himself in his insecurities, he was finally free -- for the time being, at least.  His rational mind made no hesitation in reminding him that just because he was wrong about what Lucy thought of him, it didn’t mean that his loneliness was over.

He stood at his window, staring up at the rich blue sky and remembering every line and curve of her face.  She had taken off most of her hair and it made her look like a fierce, graceful warrior. Harvey never imagined that he could be so attracted to such an unconventional display of female beauty; his past crushes and relationships were with women with long hair and assertive personalities.  Lucy definitely did have a touch of that feisty spark, but speaking with her today reminded him that he was not alone in his anxiety. 

He was also quite pleased to see that there was barely a scar left on her head from her stitches.  She must have removed the sutures herself again, and she obviously did an excellent job of it once more.

Emboldened, he took out his phone.

 

* * *

 

Lucy had just reached her mailbox when her phone buzzed in her pocket.  

> Can I see you again?

She leaned on the mailbox post and laughed.  The relief that had begun to release her mind from some of the stress that she was under grew and warmed her heart like a lover’s embrace.  She wanted to answer him right away, but couldn’t quite find the right words to reply. Her entire body was screaming yes, but she didn’t know how to tell him that she didn’t want a repeat performance of their last encounter and that it was all on her to sort her own feelings out.  She stood there just staring at her phone until her arm began to ache. She had been holding her backpack in one hand and the weight of the bag of seeds and everything else she kept in there was straining at her muscles.

She was startled when her phone buzzed again in her hand.

 

> You don’t have to answer me immediately.
> 
>  
> 
> Or ever.
> 
>  
> 
> I don’t want to pressure you.
> 
>  

She imagined him on the other end, pink-faced and flustered again.  Her heart swelled at the thought of his mustache quirking with doubt, teeth biting at his lip as he wondered if he had crossed the line already.  It was exactly the way she would handle the situation herself in his place and she laughed again. She dropped her backpack to the ground to grip her phone with both hands.

 

> Yes :)
> 
>  

She took a deep breath.  Her hands had seemingly typed the reply on their own.  Now what was she going to do? She could hardly invite him out to dinner or drinks just yet.  Tony was still on her mind, and the dam that held the flood of her past was dangerously close to bursting again.  

In any case, she couldn’t stand there and contemplate the tiny keyboard all day.  She put the phone back into her pocket and picked up her backpack, headed to the shed to get a wheelbarrow to haul away the failed cauliflower in the field.  The hens were still scratching and pecking at the ground around the coop -- or at least three of them were. Curious, she checked to see if Fuzzbutt was still poking around the compost bin.  She didn’t find her there, so she peeked into the coop to be sure that all chickens were accounted for. Fuzzbutt was in there, tucked into a corner and taking a nap. Satisfied, Lucy returned to the task at hand.  She still had most of the day in front of her and she had plenty of work to do clearing and re-fertilizing the field. By the time her tools were put away and the coop and shed were closed up for the night she realized that she hadn’t taken any breaks for lunch or dinner, and her stomach whined in protest.

After a quick meal of pasta and whatever random bits of veg that she had pre-cut in the fridge, she showered and finally fell onto her bed.  She had tossed her phone there earlier and its notification light was blinking. It was Maru.

 

> Hey are you ok
> 
>  
> 
> Sorry I got caught up in a project when I got home
> 
>  
> 
> I’m dying for details though if you want to share
> 
>  
> 
> I’m fine
> 
>  
> 
> Everything’s fine
> 
>  
> 
> Fine?!
> 
>  
> 
> Yeah
> 
>  
> 
> I believe you
> 
>  
> 
> I’m here if you want to talk
> 
>  
> 
> Tomorrow?
> 
>  
> 
> Yes!

 

Satisfied to have put off that conversation for at least the night, she put the phone away in the drawer of her nightstand and lay back to look at the ceiling.  She still had to have this conversation with herself, so to speak, and the sooner the better.

 

* * *

 

She was up half the night thinking about the direction she wanted her life to go.  She had left Zuzu City because everything in that life felt wrong -- her job, her tiny shared flat, the lifeless gray of the Joja Corp building and her cubicle and the streets and the sidewalks and the hazy, smog-filled sky.  

Tony was most definitely wrong.  The times when she hadn’t been able to reach him for days had so emptied her soul from the worry and anxiety that she hardly had enough in the tank to eat or shower or work.  When he finally reappeared, strung-out and paranoid, she would take him back to his place, make sure he slept, and then he would be so nice to her. He showered her with kisses and apologies, gave her trinkets, told her that he loved her and that he had just gotten caught up with work, or that he had been sick, or that he was away visiting a friend who needed his help, or that his phone broke, or a hundred other obvious lies.  She saw the marks on his skin and the way his eyes and cheeks were sunken in, and she had desperately hung on to the hope that she could fix everything for him.

The memory of the day that he showed up at her flat after the last three-day disappearance was the one that most often kept her up at night.  She wished she could drink it away, but it was branded on her mind with such fierce intensity that she could recall every moment in full detail.

Her other three roommates were gone for the day.  Tony had pushed his way into her room and was agitatedly pacing, speaking nonsense, and shaking his head over and over.  His eyes were like a wild animal’s, and it felt like he was looking straight through her. The attack was sudden and over in a few seconds, and she watched him snap out of his violent state from a huddled ball in the corner of her bed, aching and raw and terrified and crying, and he wouldn’t stop apologizing.  

His eyes continued to look through her, not at her.

She couldn’t speak, couldn’t move at first, but when she tried to get to the door he wouldn’t let her leave.  The torrent of excuses and apologies, anger and despair and remorse, pushed her back onto the bed and his voice grew quieter and quieter but no less desperate and harsh, like sand being fired from a gun over and over into her skin until she was unable to think anymore except for a far away idea that she needed to escape, to run, but clear thought was slippery and elusive and she could do nothing more but shake and bury her face in her arms and bury herself under the covers until finally the door opened and he was gone, replaced by the girl who shared her room.

She pretended to be asleep.  She didn’t move for hours and every muscle in her body burned and pleaded for relief.  When the first gray of dawn began to light up the small window she finally rose, showered, and pretended to leave early for work.  She called in sick, wandered the streets until she was sure her roommates had all left, then returned to the flat and barred the door with a chair while she packed only what she cared to keep in one large suitcase and put the rest into two trash bags.  A week later she boarded the bus, drunk, to Stardew Valley.

 

There had been no real closure.  She threw her phone away and her parents had bought her a new one.  Until Tony showed up at her door, she was content to pretend that none of it ever happened.

And -- Yoba help her -- she had actually considered giving him a second chance that day.  Worse yet, the voice in the back of her mind wondered if she had made the right decision when she sent him home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://togetherweare-strong.tumblr.com/helpline


	14. Somebody Help Me Sing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More misfortune strikes, or ignorance, or something. Plus some Shane weirdness.

The tears fell so steadily from her eyes as she replaced the last of the soil atop the tiny grave that she did so more by feel than by sight.  Fuzzbutt was buried and now that that grim task was over she knew she had to continue scrubbing out the coop, just in case whatever had taken the poor bird was contagious.  The other three hens looked completely normal, there in the yard scratching and pecking at grubs as usual. Like nothing ever happened. Like their friend hadn’t died right next to them sometime in the night.

Lucy sagged against the coop and sobbed.  

 

* * *

 

“Oh my goodness, what happened?”  Maru’s face turned ashen when she saw her friend crying at a corner table in the saloon.  She had arrived not long after Lucy did. Lucy was able to keep it together long enough to order and receive her beer, but one sip in and she was a mess again.

Lucy didn’t look up, she only mumbled brokenly down toward the table’s surface.  “Another chicken died.”

“Oh no!  How?”

Lucy sniffed and with a shaking hand brought the drink to her lips to try again.  She took a larger sip this time, set the mug back down, wiped at her nose with the back of her hand, and spoke quietly.  “I don’t know.”

“Lucy, I am so, so sorry.  Let me buy you some food and if you want to talk about it we can.  If you don’t want to talk about it that’s OK too.” Maru produced a cloth handkerchief from her back pocket and handed it to her.  Lucy looked up into her face for the first time and tried to give a tiny smile, or frown, or scream or laugh or  _ anything _ but the numbness was upon her and she no longer felt sad, she felt blank.  She was able to mete out the barest of nods.

She wasn’t even hungry.  Hell, she wasn’t even sure what possessed her to ask Maru to meet her here in the first place.  The last thing she wanted right now was company, but nothing felt right today anyway. Maru skipped off to the bar counter to place the order with a promise of a quick return.  

A heavy hand came down on the table, startling her into spilling a few drops of her beer.  She looked up to see Shane staring at her, his mouth a thin line and his eyes burning with intensity.

“What the fuck?” Lucy spat.

“The chicken.” he said.

“What the  _ fuck _ ?” she repeated.

“I’ll be over tomorrow afternoon to find out what happened.”

“You can’t just--”

“Either you’re to blame and Marnie shouldn’t sell you any more, or it got sick and the other ones will get sick too and Marnie shouldn’t sell you any more until it’s fixed.”

“Yoba, man, what’s your--”

“Shane!  Back off!  Can’t you see she’s upset about something?” Maru scolded him as she pushed his shoulder away from the table. 

He scowled at them both.  “Tomorrow,” he growled as he stalked to his usual spot at the bar.  Lucy hesitated but nodded weakly.

Maru took her seat again and put her hand over Lucy’s trembling one.  “I’m sorry, I don’t know what his problem is.”

Lucy nodded and took a deep gulp of her beer.

She didn’t end up saying much that night, and Maru mercifully kept the time filled with stories about her schoolwork, her dad’s experiments, and the latest book she was reading.  By the time they had finished their bowls of soup and cheese bread -- a most comforting meal after all -- Lucy had even begun to smile again. She returned home with only a small amount of the dread she had been bracing for all day.  She was able to lock up the coop for the night without incident and tears didn’t fall again until she was in the shower before bed.

 

* * *

 

Shane arrived the next afternoon as promised.  He found her pulling weeds in the field and stood silently until she acknowledged him with a nod.  She led him into the coop and waited aside while he poked around. “You already scrub this down?” he asked in his low voice.

“I’m not a complete idiot.”

He gave a grunt in return.  They moved outside. “You should put up a fence.  With a cover. Or get a chicken tractor. You’re asking for some hawk or fox to pick your birds off.”

She was slightly stunned.  That was the most words she had heard the man string together so far.  “Chicken tractor?”

“Like a movable pen.  Marnie can order them.”

She nodded.  She wondered if this was common knowledge if she really was a complete idiot.  All she knew was that all the childhood picture books about farms that she read in her youth had pictures of free roaming chickens in them.

“S’okay if I look around?”

“Sure.”

A few minutes later she heard him calling from near the house.  She dropped her trowel and gloves and jogged over to where he was behind the compost bin.  She hoped he wasn’t looking at the little grave. 

A dark voice inside suggested that he might make her dig the bird up for some reason.  She shook her head to clear it.

Shane pointed at the back of bin.  “It’s probably nothing, but there’s a hole.  There’s coffee grounds, moldy stuff, and old daffodils coming out.  All that’s toxic to chickens but they usually stay away. Unless there’s something else in there that they want.  You’ll want to fix that.”

She nodded silently again.

“Where do you keep their feed?”

“In a plastic bin in the shed.”

“Show me.”

When Shane was satisfied that the chicken feed was sealed up tight and there were no other obvious dangers around the farm, he left, but not before reminding her about the fence, the chicken tractor, and the compost bin repair.  He walked off without waiting for a reply, leaving Lucy to stare blankly after him and just shake her head when he moved out of sight through the trees. She would never have anything on him as far as social awkwardness went, no matter how introverted she was.

 

* * *

 

The evening was warm, more like midsummer than late spring.  She decided to go for a walk, while there was still light in the sky, to the forest lake to see if the fireflies were out this early in the season.  She wanted to sit by the water and reflect on the last few months -- her successes, her failures, her surprising strengths, and her monstrous weaknesses.  She was still feeling rather melancholy and hoped a change of scenery would relax her mind. 

The sound of a can being crushed in the distance took her out of her reverie.

As she approached the dock she saw a silhouetted figure sitting at the end.  She froze, unsure of what to do now that her hopes of a peaceful evening alone were dashed.  A familiar green gridball shirt and discarded blue Joja hoodie told her it was Shane. She also realized that he too was looking at her, twisted backwards to put his empty can with the four or five already behind him.  He looked just as paralyzed as her and the moment seemed to go on forever with neither of them knowing how to react to another person invading their private time. Surprisingly, Shane was the first to break the stalemate.  He raised a hand in a gesture that seemed far too friendly for the sullen man. “Want a cold one?” he called.

The hair on her arms raised briefly.  An invitation was the last thing she expected to hear that evening, much less from Shane.  She continued to pause for a moment, but relaxed slightly and found herself moving toward him and the dock.  Her body seemed to be moving of its own accord with surprising frequency as of late and she wasn’t sure how she felt about it yet.

She sat next to him at the end of the dock and removed her shoes to dangle her feet in the water.  The lake was high after the abundant spring rains and the water was gently lapping the underside of the dock.

Shane held out a can of beer in her direction.  “So how about it?”

She accepted it with a nod.  For a brief moment her eyes met his.  His usual scowl was missing, the crease between his brows gone but the heavy dark circles under his eyes remained.  She looked down at the water and cracked the can open but didn’t drink right away. Her heart was beating in her throat and it always took her a bit to recover from eye contact with most people.  Shane grabbed a fresh can for himself, opened it, and took several deep swallows. Silence remained between them but the air was filled with the sounds of crickets, spring peepers, the occasional rustling of leaves in the breeze, and the buzzing of dragonflies.  Lucy started feeling like she needed to stand up and run away from this person and this situation and this weird noisy quiet.

“Buh… life.”

Lucy was snapped out of her anxiety.  She stared at him.

He sighed heavily before continuing.  “You ever feel like… no matter what you do, you’re gonna fail?”

His words were slightly slurred but he sounded absolutely sincere.  Lucy opened her mouth to respond but couldn’t find the words.

“...Like you’re stuck in some miserable abyss and you’re so deep you can’t even see the light of day?”  He sipped his beer thoughtfully. “I just feel like no matter how hard I try… I’m not strong enough to climb out of that hole.”

“Holy shit, Shane, I….”  She trailed off, trying to find the right words to say to him.  This apparent vulnerability was so unexpected she couldn’t decide if he was being sincere or if this was a cruel attempt to test her.  They had spoken all of three times now and Maru had mentioned before how much of a jerk he was to everybody. For all she knew about him, this was how his malice manifested itself.  She gripped the beer in her hand in her confusion.

It did seem odd that he would offer her a beer and some company before playing that type of game, though.  She tipped back her head and drained the can in one go. 

He chuckled.  “Fast drinker, huh?  Woman after my own heart.”

She snorted a laugh.  “You caught me off guard there,” she admitted.  “Just killing time.”

He laughed too.  She had expected it to be cold and mirthless but he did seem genuinely amused.  Another brief silence settled in, but it was more comfortable now. “Just don’t make it a habit….” he said softly, “You got a future ahead of you still.”

“And you don’t?”

“Probably not.”  He offered her another beer and she accepted.

“Hey, I know you have your reasons for doing what you did today, but I appreciate it anyway.”  It seemed like a cheap attempt at changing the subject, but Lucy decided he needed to hear it. She glanced over and saw that the corner of his mouth was turned up in a small smile.  

“Yeah, well… I got a soft spot for chickens.”  He pulled his legs out of the water and clumsily stood.  He hadn’t taken off his sandals and now they made squelchy noises when he moved.  “Welp, my liver’s beggin’ me to stop.” He crouched down to pick up the spent cans and toss them into the 12-pack box along with what remained.  He stood again with a groan and another squeak from his sandals. “See you around, farmer.”

Unsteadily he swayed down the dock without waiting for a reply.  Lucy half expected him to fall into the lake on the way and readied herself for a possible rescue mission, but he made it to land and headed off toward Marnie’s ranch.

“See you, you grumpy weirdo,” she whispered.

She returned her gaze to the rapidly darkening horizon.  Her head was swimming from the puzzling encounter. Her planned moody introspection was out of the question now, so she opened her beer and pulled out her phone.  She had half a mind to tell Maru all about her strange day, but scrolled back up her short list of contacts to Harvey’s name.

 

> Are you doing anything tomorrow?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if I ever mentioned that I have a Tumblr thing. So, if that's your thing, here's my thing: https://djinnhatescold.tumblr.com/


	15. I Am A Mountain, I Am The Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a date. An awkward, awkward date.

Harvey was waiting for Lucy outside of the clinic.  He had traded his usual formal doctor attire for something a bit more casual, a polo and khaki pants.  Lucy had spent an inordinate amount of time deciding what to wear that day, not sure if this was an outing with a friend or a date.  She had settled on black capris and sandals with a light tunic in jewel blue. It was a step up from her usual jeans and t-shirt look and she felt a little strange, having not worn anything but farm work clothes for the past year.

When Harvey saw her his eyes lit up and for a moment she forgot what she had been worrying about.  

“Th-that’s a lovely necklace,” he said, stumbling over his words before lightly clearing his throat.

Her hand went to the chain around her neck.  She had forgotten she was even wearing it; her jewelry -- only a necklace and small hoop earrings -- was something she almost never took off.  Upon the silver chain hung a small pendant of a snake, hanging from its tail end, coiled in the middle like a sun disk, with its head dropping below.  It usually nestled inside her t-shirts but the wide slitted boatneck of her tunic revealed it today. “Thank you,” she replied. “I’ve had it for a very long time.”

“So… I thought maybe we could take a walk down to the river for a bit -- if you’d like -- and get a snack at the saloon later if we’re hungry.  If that sounds OK to you.”

She hid a smile behind a hand.  The way his insecurities were revealed when he wasn’t speaking as  _ Doctor _ Harvey was oddly charming.  “That all sounds great, Harvey.”

They passed Caroline and Jodi in the square on their way to the river to the south.  They greeted Harvey and waved at Lucy. Harvey gave them a friendly wave back and Lucy smiled and nodded.  The two women went back to whatever gossip they were whispering about and Lucy’s ears turned pink as she realized that in this small town they could very well have been talking about her and her reclusiveness over the last year.

“Have you met those ladies yet?” Harvey asked.

“I’ve seen Pierre’s wife in the store before but I’ve never met her or the other formally.  I’m still not a hundred percent on this small town thing,” she confessed.

“Truthfully, I was worried about the same thing when I first moved here,” Harvey said.  “It took a little time, but it’s difficult to avoid meeting everyone when you’re the town’s only doctor.  Sooner or later they all end up in the clinic.”

“How long ago did you move?”

“A little over three years ago.”

“Do you feel… comfortable here now?”

He took a deep breath and considered his answer.  “I don’t know if that’s the right word… not for me, anyway.”  He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m not one for crowds or, well, I’m actually a bit socially anxious.”

Lucy wanted to make a sarcastic quip but bit her tongue.

“I can say that I feel like a real part of the community.  And that’s nice.”

They reached the swollen bank of the river.  Its shores were dotted with shade trees and wildflowers.  Butterflies flitted between blossoms and branches and dragonflies darted around in their manic dance above the rapidly flowing water.  Harvey sat beneath a willow tree and reached his hand up to help her down. Lucy took it with a smile, thoroughly charmed by the gesture.  

They chatted for a while, their conversation taking them to their jobs, as is usually inevitable when two people who barely know each other speak.  Lucy asked about his typical week of checkups and occasional urgent appointment, and Harvey couched his answers in his usual modest way. Eventually the conversation trailed off.  Harvey adopted a furrowed brow and a faraway look.

Lucy frantically replayed the past few minutes’ conversation over in her mind, searching for where things could have gone wrong.  “Are you OK?” she squeaked.  

He snapped his head toward her, surprised out of his thoughts.  “I’m sorry, I drifted off for a moment there,” he smiled weakly.  He looked down at his hands and sighed. “Truth be told, it’s been hard making ends meet lately.”

This was something that Lucy never considered as a possibility.  Doctors were supposed to be some of the wealthier members of society, weren’t they?

He continued.  “Stardew Valley is small, and Pelican Town is one of the smaller towns in it.  Joja has been opening walk-in clinics in some of its stores lately, and their ambulance service has pushed out a lot of the competition.  I have to start advertising my services in the surrounding towns, and putting myself out there is not exactly my forte.”

Lucy bristled at the mention of her former employer.  She had started her internship years ago doing finance in the marketing department and knew first hand how aggressive their tactics could be.  “I’m so sorry, Harvey,” was all she could say. Then her eyes grew wide and she lightly swatted his arm to get his attention back. “Why the hell didn’t you ever charge me for my leg or my head?  Oh Yoba, Harvey, I can’t just let you--”

Harvey gently took her hands, which had been gesticulating wildly, into his.  “A few stitches and some saline are just a drop in the bucket, Lucy, really.”

“But your time and expertise is valuable.  That’s what people pay for. And I’m going to pay you back, I don’t care what you say.”  She realized where her hands were and her voice softened a bit. “You shouldn’t sell yourself short.”  His large, warm hands felt so good on hers, even in the heat of the day. She looked into the beautiful hazel of his eyes and was lost for words again.  He really was handsome. No wonder she had kissed him before she even knew anything about him.

_ She still didn’t know much about him. _

This sudden realization was like being stabbed in the gut with an icicle.  

She had been acting like an impulsive, infatuated teenager this whole time.

Harvey gave her hands a quick squeeze before letting go.  “I know you’re right. I will do better. I have to. But tell me, how is life on the farm?”

She shrugged.  “It’s been tough.”

“More than you expected?”

“I came into this knowing that it was going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I don’t think you can ever really know what that means.  Sore muscles I can handle, but the emotional parts…. I never knew that chickens could make me cry so much.”

“I think that just shows how kind and caring you are.”

She gave another half shrug.

“Out of everyone in this town, you are the strongest person I’ve met so far.”

This time she snorted, thinking of the time he found her up to her eyeballs in tears, snot, and beer.  “You can’t be serious.”

“I hope I can convince you.”  He gingerly reached a hand toward her face and stroked her cheek tenderly with a thumb.  She leaned into his touch, feeling like a fraud the entire time.

“Harvey…” she began, “I’m really, really sorry about that weird kiss and run thing.”

He jerked his hand away and straightened his back.  “I thought that we had moved past that… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have--”

She shook her head.  “Please don’t misunderstand.  I’m attracted to you.”

“Oh… ok?”

“I’d like to… I mean… can we, um…”

“...Oh, ah, I think… are you….”

“Um… fuck, I made it weird.”

“No, no!  If anything it’s probably me…”

“...Do you want to get a drink with me?”

He heaved a sigh of relief.  “I would very much like that.”

Lucy giggled nervously.  “I’m sorry. I’m not good with words and I’m trying to say… something.”

“If… if I’m reading this right -- and please let me know if I’ve got this wrong -- I think you’re trying to say that you would prefer that we take things slow?”

“I, um… uh… yes.   _ Yes _ .  I think that’s right.”  She could feel her face burning again.

Harvey helped her up and her hand lingered in his for perhaps a second too long before they began to make their way to the saloon.  Even with all the doubt that was now clouding her mind and making her question her judgment, she could concentrate on very little other than his touch, and wanting more.

 

***

 

They had parted ways outside of the clinic again and Lucy scarcely remembered the walk home.  Once she had a beer in her at the saloon the conversation flowed easily again. She learned that he hadn’t always wanted to be a doctor, but in fact hoped to become a pilot when he was growing up.  His crippling fear of heights was what stopped him from chasing that dream. Lucy revealed to him her own fear of deep water, and that she had always wondered what life aboard a ship was like.

“Life is funny that way,” Harvey had remarked.  “I wonder sometimes if our heads or our hearts know what’s better for us.  Then again, if either of us had followed our hearts then we probably wouldn’t have ever met.”

It was cheesy --  _ so _ cheesy.  But the sincerity on his face stopped her from telling him so, and she had touched his hand and smiled at him and she felt like she was a character in a movie.  They had ended the night with him giving her a chaste, firm squeeze on the hand.

Her heart was telling her that all this was right but her head still had its doubts.  Her body was another thing entirely.

Always in the back of her mind, there was Tony.  Tony was nice at first too. Tony had given her the butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling too.  Tony said some cheesy shit that made her smile and laugh too. Tony still wanted to be with her, and he said that he was better now.  What if Harvey just turned out to be another Tony?

“Arrrrgh, why am I like this?” she said out loud to her dark, empty cabin.  She wrenched her old refrigerator’s door open a bit too roughly, causing condiments to bounce across the room.  She made another irritated noise and chased a jar of relish as it rolled under her bed. On her way back out of the dusty space she banged her head against the frame.  Swearing a blue streak, she angrily grabbed two bottles from the fridge and retreated to the table. She drank beer and jabbed at her phone mindlessly for a while before eventually tapping the mail icon.

There was an email from fucking Tony at the top of her inbox.  Of course there was.

She chugged the rest of the bottle and opened the second before she opened it.  As she read her emotions cycled from anger to pity to fear to guilt and back to anger again.  “Motherfucker,” she mumbled into her beer. “What am I supposed to do with this?” She jabbed at the power button and slammed her phone down on the table.  She couldn’t deal with Tony’s bullshit right now. Right now she had to try and unpack Harvey.

She moved onto her bed and kicked her shoes off toward the door.  Her thoughts returned to the realization she had before: she hardly knew Harvey at all.  Before today she had only encountered him, what, three times? Two of them in a medical context?  She was much too old to have this weird schoolgirl crush, and she was still much too fucked up from her last relationship to trust her own judgement anyway.  And really, this was a guy who wore polo shirts outside the office. Still, they had agreed to take things slow. She wasn’t even sure what the meant, but maybe it was time to just let things run its course and not obsess over every detail like with everything else.

She sat up on her elbows and downed the rest of her beer.  Sure. That sounded doable.


	16. Chapter 16

Another early morning, another pounding headache.  Lucy’s body was conditioned to wake up at 6:00 regardless of the sun’s position, time of year, the previous evening’s activities, or positions of the stars it seemed.  She lay in bed and watched a cobweb on her ceiling sway in the morning breeze coming through the window. As usual, she took mental stock of the things she needed to get accomplished that day.  Feed the chickens, clean their coop, water the crops, finish building the fence. A quick mental scan of the day before: being awkward with Harvey, having a nice time with Harvey, getting a ridiculous email from Tony, drinking too much again.  Right. 

Her phone was blinking at her from the pillow next to her, signaling a new text message.  Maru was wondering if they could meet up today. After a few minutes of back and forth it was decided that Maru would bring some dinner over to the farm that evening.

Lucy was looking forward to it.  She had a lot that she’d like to talk through with a friend.

 

***

 

Harvey hummed as he flipped the clinic sign to “OPEN”.  There were no appointments scheduled today and Maru had been remarkably efficient with the paperwork that week.  Usually this lack of work would have him wound tight with stress, but today he had Lucy on his mind.

Granted, Lucy was on his mind most days, but after their date the night before he was feeling even better about the way things were moving.

She wanted to move slow because of some yet unnamed past trauma with her ex, and Harvey was surprisingly fine with that.  He may have been in his late thirties already, and thoughts of starting a family had been gnawing at him for years, but so far everything felt so  _ right _ about Lucy.  The last thing he wanted to do was to rush her, especially when he had such a good feeling about their relationship.  Even when the conversation became, well,  _ ungraceful _ for lack of a better word.  He always felt comfortable around her and was even willing to share things about himself that he had always been reluctant to talk about with anyone before.  

Harvey puttered around in his office for a while until he heard the door chime in the lobby.  It was Evelyn, the dear old lady from down the road, one of the two eldest citizens of Pelican Town.  She smiled warmly and, with shaky hands, set a plate of cookies on the reception counter. “Good morning, Dr. Harvey!”

“Good morning, Evelyn!  What brings you in today?”

“I’m just stopping by to put in a refill for George’s medication -- the one for his hands.”

“Has he gone through them already?  It seems a bit too early,” Harvey said, thumbing through the medical records on the shelf to find George Mullner’s.

“Oh no, there’s no rush, dear.  He still has plenty for now. Mostly I just needed an excuse to drop off these cookies,” she winked and chuckled.  “And if I’m being completely honest, I wanted to ask you if the rumors were true.”

Harvey was wide-eyed.  “Rumors?”

“About you and that lovely girl from the Honeywine Farm.”

His face went crimson and he sputtered before answering.  “Mrs. Mullner,” he said, unable to contain his grin, “I expected as much from Jodi or Caroline, but you too?”  He tsked.  

Evelyn let out a cackling laugh.  “I can’t help but be concerned about you, young man.  You deserve a nice girl. I can’t say I know much about her, but if she is spending time with you then she probably has a good head on her shoulders.”

“Well, I don’t know about that, but she is quite nice indeed.”

“So is it true, Doctor?”

Harvey shook his head and smiled.  “Miss Lucy and I enjoy each other’s company, and that is all I feel I can say, as a gentleman, at this time.”

“Oh, yes, yes, I see.  Very good. I won’t pry any further into your business, so long as you are happy.  And,” she grinned, “you seem  _ quite _ happy.”

Harvey beamed at her.

“You enjoy those cookies, dear.  And like I said, no rush on the medicine.  Just send me a letter when it’s time to pick it up.”

“Not a problem, Evelyn.  Have a lovely day.”

 

***

 

Maru was laughing with her hand over her mouth, trying to keep her ravioli contained.  “You both panicked and ran to the bar? That’s hilarious!”

Lucy laughed into her glass of lemonade, blushing.  “I  _ so _ made it weird!”

“You are just too cute.”

“I hope that’s enough to make up for my personality,” Lucy smirked.

“‘Slow’, huh?”

Lucy nodded.  “Something like that, I guess.  I wish I knew what that meant.”

“What do you mean?  You’re the one who said it.”

“There’s this… other thing.”  She fiddled with her fork pensively.  “An ex-boyfriend thing.”

“Is this the same ex from the bad relationship?”

“Ugh.  Yeah. Tony.  It’s a long story, but I’m still holding some kind of twisted candle for this guy.  And I know I shouldn’t. It just… I don’t know. For a long time I really thought we were going to spend our lives together until he got into some bad…” she trailed off before taking a deep breath.  Maru waited patiently for her to finish, concern painted on her face. “He lost his job, then his sister died, then he did more and more drugs. His whole personality changed.”

“That must have been hell.  For him for sure, but I can only imagine what it was like for you.”

Lucy winced.  “It got worse.”  She took a gulp of the wine that Maru had brought over.  “He got physical when he was tweaking. And jealous.”

“Yoba, that’s awful.  I’m glad you got away from him.”

“I thought I did.  I tried to disappear but he found me somehow.  He said he got treatment and that he’s done with all that.  He wants to try again. And he just let me know that he bought the house we were looking at before it all went south.”

Maru sat back in her chair and considered her response. Lucy swirled the wine in her glass and remained quiet.  “I don’t know this guy,” Maru started, “but from what you’ve told me so far he sounds like a scumbag.”

Lucy slammed her glass down on the table -- perhaps a bit harder than she intended.  “You’re right,” she seethed, “You don’t know him.”

Maru looked surprised at Lucy’s sudden rage.  “Hear me out, please,” she pleaded.  

Lucy took another deep breath and finally nodded tightly.

“All I’m saying is, the guy had enough self-awareness to get himself help, presumably after he realized you disappeared yourself to get away from him.  Then he had to make a conscious decision to hunt you down when you obviously didn’t want to be found by him. If this situation was in a teen fiction novel it could be twisted into some kind of romantic plotline, but this is your  _ life _ and this behavior seems selfish and creepy.  

“I know I’m making a lot of assumptions about the situation, so please tell me -- am I wrong?”

Maru’s question hit her like a truck.  The hairs on the back of her neck were standing and it felt like her head was swimming.  “You… you’re not wrong,” she said quietly.

Maru stood and slowly walked around the table to her friend.  She wrapped her arms around her from behind in a warm embrace.  Lucy went rigid at first, unused to such an intimate gesture from someone, but quickly relaxed.  “Lucy, you deserve so much better than that.” They stayed there for a few moments, then Maru went back to her side of the table and emptied the remaining wine between the two glasses.  Lucy swirled the liquid in her glass before speaking.

“What if I’m making a mistake?”

“Then you move forward from there.  I should tell you about the time my dad set part of his lab on fire.  You wanna talk about mistakes...”

Lucy laughed softly, sipping at her wine.  “I hope Harvey works out. I really do.”

“He’s lucky to have you.  Anyone in this town would.  Hell, if I was a few years older…”

Lucy laughed again, harder this time.  “Okay, okay, you’ve made me feel better.  You don’t need to go that far for my sake.”

Maru’s cheeks flushed crimson.

Lucy’s eyes widened.  “You… you’re not joking, are you?”

“Heh… you know I only get crushes on impractical people.”  She stood up abruptly and took their plates to the sink. “I’m glad I was able to make you feel better.”   Lucy felt her own neck flush. This was not the sort of thing she was prepared to handle on top of everything else today.  Maru returned to the table with another paper bag from the counter. “Ready for dessert? I brought cheesecake!”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shane gives Lucy something to chew on.

She had never seen so many fireflies.  Blurry, blinking points of light twinkled all around her.  One even landed on her hand. Ordinarily she would have flinched involuntarily and perhaps shrieked at the feeling of an insect on her skin, but in her current state she simply smiled at the creature, marveling at its glow.  She held perfectly still until it flew off to join its compatriots in the reeds at the edge of the lake.

Lucy was on the third beer of a six-pack.  Her last bit of wine with Maru had been finished over two hours ago.  Maru had left not long after with a promise that they would arrange another get together in the next few days. Lucy had too much on her mind to turn in for the evening.

Of course, her quiet night on the dock was thwarted once again.  She cursed the irony of it being so much harder to find solitude in this small, rural town than in the densely populated Zuzu City.  She supposed her grandfather would be pleased at this forced socialization.

Familiar footsteps sounded on the dock behind her as well as the soft murmuring of a hen, much to her surprise.  “Hey,” came Shane’s voice.

“Hey,” she responded, not looking back at him.

Shane sat down next to her, neither asking permission nor apologizing for the intrusion.  Fair enough, she thought, the lake and the dock belonged to no one. Once he was settled she glanced over and saw that he held a white chicken in his lap.

“This is Charlie,” he said when he noticed her looking at the bird.

“Ah,” she replied.

They sat together for a while, watching the fireflies and listening to the contented noises the hen made as Shane softly stroked her feathers.  He eventually pulled a flask from his back pocket and offered it to Lucy, who responded by pointing to her half-empty beer bottle and raising her hand in denial.  He shrugged and took a deep swig himself.

“You ever been in an abusive relationship?” she blurted suddenly.  The alcohol was really betraying her tonight.

Shane gave no outward appearance of shock or annoyance at her question, only answering flatly, “Hell of a personal question.”

“Yeah.  Sorry.”

“You and the doctor boning?”

She gave him a sideways glance.  “I’m too drunk to have a filter tonight.  Do you really want the answer?”

“Nah, I’m just being an asshole.”

“We all have our issues.”

“Look, sorry about being rude to you all the time.  It takes me a while to warm up to new people.”

Lucy shrugged.  “I know how it is.  Really.”

Another, more companionable silence fell over them.  Charlie’s noises grew drowsy and eventually it appeared that she fell asleep.  Lucy finished her beer and opened her last bottle.

“So the doc’s abusive?”

“Huh?”  She struggled through her haze to remember the context of his question.  

“Doesn’t seem like the type.”

“No-- NO!  Harvey’s fine.  It was my ex.”

“Hm.”

She sighed.  “I actually don’t know if it was abusive or not.”

“I hear that shit gets complicated.”

Lucy hummed affirmatively.  “It’s worse when there’s drugs involved.”  With that, the abbreviated version of the story of her and Tony poured from her mouth.  Shane listened but said nothing, scarcely moving even to take another drink. When she finished telling him of the email about the house that Tony had just bought, she stopped talking and sat frozen in place.  The cold realization of everything that she had just told this relative stranger crashed over her like a cruel winter wave taking the last warm grains of sand from a beach and washing them out to sea.  

She had burdened yet another stranger in Stardew Valley with her bullshit.

“I’m sor--”

“He sounds lonely.”

Lucy blinked.  “What-- what did you say?”

“He sounds like a guy who’s going through a lot to fix his mistakes and doesn’t have anyone to talk to about it.”  Shane shifted finally, pulling the flask back out from under Charlie. “Sounds lonely.”

He had simply put into words the exact conflict in her mind regarding Tony.  She looked at him in awe. He continued looking out over the water, brows knit ever so slightly together.

“But I don’t know the guy.  You said he hurt you, so fuck him and his feelings.”

Another cold hit of realization nearly knocked her over.  Her head was swimming once again. Now that it felt like she had nearly all the puzzle pieces, she had no idea how she was supposed to put them together.  She fumbled her bottle, nearly sending it into the lake. Shane looked at her with a raised eyebrow. Charlie clucked sharply. It took every gram of self-control in her possession to pull a mask of collectiveness over her face and stiffly rise to her feet while the fuse of the bomb needing to explode inside her grew dangerously short.  “I’m going to call it a night,” she said tightly.

Shane nodded.  “If I said anything stupid… I’m sorry.”

“No!” she cried, briefly losing her grip.  She closed her eyes before she continued. “You’ve been… you-- you-- ...very….”  She shook her head and inhaled deeply. “Sorry... for unloading on you. You were very helpful and… and kind.”

Shane, who had been taking another drink, sputtered.  She walked away before he had a chance to reply.

 

***

  
The next morning she found three full bottles of beer shoved into her mailbox with a note written on a torn piece of the six-pack packaging:  _ you left this  -S _


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey asks Lucy to the Flower Dance and things get warm out in the forest.

Lucy nodded at the progress her replacement crop had made over the last couple of weeks.  They were looking strong this time, with rich green leaves that had thick white veins nearly bursting with vitality.  Several plants even had small heads beginning to form.  With luck, this season wouldn't be a total loss after all.

The hens clucked away happily in their pen in the background.  The fence that she had put up after the loss of Fuzzbutt was holding firm despite her rudimentary carpentry skills; video tutorials on the internet were truly going to be her generation's saving grace.  She hoped to make enough this season to finally buy a chicken tractor as Shane had suggested.  She learned that it would even help her to prepare new fields for planting.  She wasn't sure she was truly ready to expand her farm yet.  Maybe that was a thought for next year.

For today, however, she had something else to worry about.  Instead of puttering around and performing odd jobs and repairs around the farm like usual, she headed back inside to get cleaned up in the shower.  Today was the day of the annual Flower Dance.

She had skipped it last year, the year she arrived in the Valley, because the thought of attending a community social event as the new girl in town made her skin crawl.  Yesterday she had gotten a call from Harvey.

***

"Hello, Lucy."

"Hey, Harvey!"

"How- how are you?"  Harvey's voice was tight.

"Is everything alright?"

"Oh!  Yes!  Yes, I'm fine.  Everything is fine.  I... I hope you're fine too."

"Harvey."

"Hm?  Oh!  Sorry!  Really, everything is--"  He stopped short and paused, then chuckled.  "Fine."

"So... now that everything is fine, what's up?"

"So tomorrow is a... thing.  A... an event."

"Is it the egg thing?"

"No, the Egg Festival was a couple of weeks ago.  Tomorrow is the Spring Dance," he replied more confidently.  The speed at which he was able to switch back and forth between Confident Fact Dispensing Harvey and Anxious Awkward Harvey was astonishing.

"Mmhmm."  Lucy was grinning now, hoping not to giggle at this most endearing quality and fluster the poor man further.

"I try to make an appearance at these sorts of things to, you know, be a part of the... the culture."

"Of course.  A man in your position is surely expected to."  She was biting the inside of her cheek now.

"I thought... I was wondering... I know neither of us is very good at the... crowds... and I was thinking..."  He trailed off, hoping she would get the gist and just answer already to spare his nerves.

Lucy opened her mouth to answer but stopped short.  Adorable as it was that Harvey was asking her to a dance, was this something she wanted to do?  She loved the idea of being anywhere with Harvey, but when she got right down to it a dance was an extremely intimidating concept.

"L-Lucy?"

"Yes?"

"Would you go to the dance with me?  I mean-- would you like to go to the dance... with me?"  She heard him swallow hard.

"I... I-- yeah.  Yes."  A small, nervous chuckle escaped.  "I would like to go to the dance with you."

"Wonderful!" Harvey exclaimed, perhaps a bit too loudly. 

***

Thinking back on the conversation now made her grin all over again.  It was ridiculous, two people their age acting like high school kids before a prom.  She had pulled the only suitable dress she owned out of her closet, a simple cream-colored affair with light blue satin on the hems.  Harvey had told her that the women traditionally wore white dresses and the men blue suits, but the dress code was hardly set in stone.  After showering and dressing she stood in front of the mirror, a pit of dread forming in her gut.  She hadn't danced in ages.  Maybe since high school, even.  She wondered if this one of those dances where the dancing itself wasn't required.  Not bloody likely, she decided.

She told Harvey that she would meet him there after her farm chores were done.  Now that they were, she had no excuse not to start the walk.  She wished she would have asked Maru to walk with her, but things still felt weird since the other night.  She wondered if Maru was going to be at the Dance, and if so, if that was another thing that she would have to deal with today.

She decided she couldn't put it off anymore and began the trek through the woods to the festival grounds.

When she arrived, the festival was in full swing.  Pierre was hawking goods at a stand near the entrance while his wife shot him the occasional sour look from her circle of friends.  Many of the townsfolk were gathered by the buffet tables, which were piled high with an incredible spread of spring-themed food.  She saw Shane attempting to surreptitiously wipe some kind of sauce off his face with the sleeve of his suit.  It was the first time that she had seen him in anything but his ratty old Joja hoodie, and he appeared exactly as uncomfortable as she expected him to be.  Maru was speaking to a slight, red-haired woman and an animated blond man that she recognized from the saloon.  All three were dressed in the expected white and blue.  Maru caught her eye and waved her over-enthusiastically.  At least she had that going for her.  Just as she was about to move in that direction, she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Well look who it is!  I'm glad to see you, Farmer Lucy!"  It was Lewis, the mayor.  He was all smiles under his mustache, a wide, bushy thing that was much more ridiculous than Harvey's would ever be.  After meeting him nearly as soon as she had stepped off the bus over a year ago she only ever encountered him in passing at the saloon the few times she had been there.  Today he was greeting her like an old friend, and that made her uncomfortable.

"Hello, Mayor Lewis," she replied flatly, somehow gracefully moving out from his grasp to face him head-on.

"If I'm not mistaken, this is the first festival you've attended.  I'm thrilled that you're joining us today.  I hope it won't be your last."  He winked at her.  She desperately wanted to slither away.  "I don't think you'll have any trouble finding a dance partner today, though a little birdie told me that you may already--"

"There you are, Lucy!"  Harvey was suddenly there by her side.  "Excuse me, Lewis, I have something to discuss with Miss Lucy."  She gratefully followed him away from the mayor, not bothering to give the man a last look.  Lewis was left standing with his mouth open but shrugged and walked away.

"My hero!" Lucy said to Harvey once they reached the ocean shore on the southwest end of the festival grounds.

"You looked positively spooked," he said.  "I knew I had to get you away.  Are you alright?"

"I'm fine.  I just wasn't ready for the old man hands."

Harvey laughed out loud and quickly put his hand over his mouth.  Lucy blushed at his reaction, feeling like an idiotic child.  "I'm glad you're here," he smiled.

"I'm glad to be here for you.  With you."  She blushed again.  Pull it together, Lucy.

"Harvey!  Lucy!" Maru called hushedly as she came up behind them.

"Hello, Maru, are you dancing this year?" Harvey asked. 

Maru gave Lucy a quick hug.  "Not sure yet.  There's still plenty of time before that starts.  Lucy, I wanted to tell you how amazing your dress is before Lewis swooped in."

"Thanks!  I like yours too!  You clean up nice."

"I wear the same dress my mom bought me four years ago every year for this thing, but thank you for the compliment," she laughed.  Her dress was quite lovely, with ruching at the bust that had a decorative drawstring in the middle and delicate ruffled details at the hems of the half-length sleeves.  "Until you came along, Harvey was kind enough to dance with me to spare me the agony of Lewis and the rest of the village badgering me onto the dance floor."

"Oh, I think you have it the other way around," Harvey chuckled.  "I was lucky enough to have you say yes to a dance to keep everyone off my back."

"I'm so happy you have a real partner this year!"

Harvey smiled, but Lucy caught the slightest hint of a wince in his expression when Maru turned to face her.  "I couldn't be happier for my two best friends.  Anyway, I wanted to go ask Penny and Sam about something.  I'll see you two in a bit, okay?"

Lucy took Harvey's hand in hers and gently squeezed.  He let out the breath he had apparently been holding and smiled at her before squeezing back.  "Care to get a drink with me?  I hear Pam's been spiking the punch again."

Soon enough it was time for the dance to formally begin.  "Just watch me and follow along.  It's not complicated, I promise," Maru had told her on the way to the dance floor -- or rather, the open grassy area designated for the task.  The women lined up on one side and the men on the other, and the music began.  It was a slow, lilting waltz.  Lucy desperately looked to Maru for the steps and seeing that they truly were not overly difficult she was able to keep up, albeit in a slightly stilted manner.  Maru was dancing with both of the people she had been speaking to earlier -- she figured they must be the Penny and Sam she mentioned before -- and the blonde kid seemed to be having the time of his life with both women sharing his attention.  To her other side were Shane and Emily.  Shane was moving rather clumsily, which made her feel better about her own dancing, but Emily's obviously practiced grace made up for just about everyone on the field. 

Finally, she caught the gaze of the man across from her, and the volume on the world around her turned down.  She was lost in his kind, hazel eyes.  He was looking at her with the sort of adoration that she hadn't seen in ages, warmth nearly visibly radiating off of him.  It hit her so powerfully that when she heard the music again she was afraid that she had stopped moving altogether just to sink into those emerald-and-brown pools, and she was relieved her body had continued the movements of the dance on its own.

Harvey looked equally enthralled with her.  When the steps brought them together, hands out and barely touching, his fingertips ghosting her waist while her other hand was raised to the sky, his expression was reverent.  His gaze smouldered the line of her cheek, the curve of her neck, the arch of her back as she spun.  Their movements were smooth and confident now; Harvey leading her with strength and purpose and Lucy following with an elegant trust. 

***

Maybe it was the punch, maybe it was the hot sun beating down, or maybe it was the heady mix of flowers, perfume, cologne, and pheromones that hung over the dancing area, but Lucy felt something inside her heart and her head shift every time they made contact.  He looked so fearless now, and so happy.  She felt supremely comfortable here with him now, just like, she realized, she always did.  It didn't matter if they were dancing, sharing dinner at the saloon, chatting at the clinic, or sharing wine by the river.  She always felt at ease in his gentle presence.  He was worth waiting for, but she was the one setting the timeline.  And for what?

***

At dances past Harvey always barely managed to stumble through, so intent on not stepping on Maru's toes or getting the steps wrong or otherwise making an ass of himself and embarrassing them both that he never enjoyed himself.  Now, with Lucy there with him, the past had ceased to exist.  There was no anxiety or doubt, no insecurity or timidity to hold him back.  The fondness that had begun so long ago had become something bigger, something that threatened to engulf him and he was so willing to surrender to it.  He wanted desperately to take her into his arms and melt away with her.  And looking into her eyes offered him little doubt that at this moment she wanted that too.

***

The last step brought them together again, but this time they were pressed just against one another, hip to hip, fingers entwined, staring into each other's eyes.  They were both breathing heavily, and both knew it wasn't from the exertion of the dance itself.

Reluctantly they parted as the onlookers clapped and cheered the bachelors and bachelorettes.  Harvey grasped for her hand and she took his tightly, both suddenly remembering they weren't the only two people in the forest clearing that day.  Lucy's face went pale and she started to feel dizzy.  Harvey didn't look much better.  Other couples from the crowd began to filter onto the dancefloor as a new song began, one decidedly more modern and less stuffy than the last.  "Do you want to get out of here?  Find some air?" Harvey murmured in her ear.  She nodded dazedly.  He led her down toward the shore again, but this time veering toward the exit.  Before they got far, however, Sam ran up behind them.

"Hey, you two looked great out there!  Doc, I didn't know you had those kinds of moves," he grinned, his smile genuine enough, but his timing put Lucy even more on edge.

Harvey coughed lightly and returned a half-smile.  "Thanks.  But, uh, I don't think I'll ever have enough moves to handle two partners at once."

Sam's eyebrows shot up and he smiled wickedly.  Before he had time to quip back, and perhaps before Harvey even realized his inadvertent double entendre, Lewis was shaking Harvey's hand and Marnie was cooing over Lucy's dress.  Several more uncomfortable moments passed with Harvey deflecting smalltalk and Lucy squeezing his hand tighter and tighter for what seemed to her like an eternity.  She was beginning to tremble slightly.  Harvey's brow now wore a sheen of cold sweat despite the heat of the day.  He politely excused them and they were almost at the exit when Pierre, standing alongside his booth like a sentinel, called out to them.  Lucy made a noise deep in her throat that was part growl, part whine.

Pierre waved them over and Lucy was just barely able to plaster a cordial smile upon her lips.  "That was really nice, you two.  Dr. Harvey, it looks like you did a great job showing her the ropes of our little tradition."

Harvey nodded and smiled, the well of his ability for social interaction drying up fast.

"Say, Farmer Lucy, I just wanted to let you know that I'll have some brand new summer seeds in the shop within a day.  I wasn't able to make flyers in time this year so I wanted to let you know personally.  And," he said conspiratorially, "there may be a volume discount in it for you in case you got any extra fields cleared for the season."

"Oh.  Thanks, Pierre."  She wanted to scream at him for this most untimely marketing spiel, but she knew it had nothing to do with him personally.  She really wanted to scream and run out of the forest clearing as fast as she could and not stop until she was back in her house and away from everyone -- everyone but Harvey.

"Lucy!" she heard Maru calling.  Lucy lifted her head to see her headed their way.  She raised her hand and waved at her friend, then forcefully began to pull Harvey away toward the rickety footbridge back to the main part of Cindersap forest. 

Maru stopped, mid-wave, and watched them walk away from her before she burst into laughter and rejoined the festival crowd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter fought me every step of the way. I'm still not sure I captured everything I needed to here but, eh, let's publish it anyway and just move on with things.
> 
> I'm putting some bonus visual material on my Tumblr too, if you're interested. I spent a ridiculous amount of time looking at dresses and watching videos of ballroom dancing because Cats know I can't just come up with that sort of thing in my own head.
> 
> And everyone, your kudos and comments are super humbling and I don't really know what to say except the most heartfelt thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.


	19. Chapter 19*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The smut chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm changing the rating and tags of this story to accommodate this chapter. I considered publishing this as a wholly separate work but decided to say fuck it, we're doing this. This is the only smut I have planned for this story thus far, but that may change because I write like a wild stallion, wild and free (and on occasion horny).

Finally, they were alone.

They had walked wordlessly back to Lucy's farm, never losing the grip on each other's hand.  They had walked quickly and both were sweaty and breathless when they reached the porch.  They hadn't stopped moving since the festival grounds and when Lucy suddenly halted before the first step and turned to face Harvey he gasped in surprise, feeling like he was just shaken out of a dream.

"Are- are you alright?" he asked meekly.

He was still wearing his blue Flower Dance suitcoat and was just now noticing how stuffy and uncomfortable it was in the summer-like heat after all the physical activity of the early afternoon.  Lucy stood before him mere inches away, staring at the buttons on the chest of his crisp white shirt.  She didn't answer, she just continued to breathe heavily and stare, almost causing Harvey to begin performing an emergency medical evaluation.  She finally moved, letting go of his hand and backing up the first step.  She raised her eyes to his, moved her hands to his face (much easier to reach now that the step had evened out their height difference), and brought her lips to his.

Harvey felt electric.  A brief image flashed in his mind of a cartoon character getting kissed by a pretty girl and his shoes curling and his tie rolling up on his neck like a window shade and he nearly laughed out loud, instead wrapping his arms around her, grabbing her shoulder with one hand, sliding his hand up the soft, shaved back of her head, and drawing her closer to him, kissing her back deeply, hungrily.  She backed up the rest of the porch stairs, pulling him along with her and refusing to break their kiss until her back hit halfway between the wall and the front door.  She groped blindly behind her to work the knob and swung the door open.  They remained where they were for a moment, clinging to each other and exploring each other's mouths with their tongues and hands before Lucy stepped back into the house.

Her hand was on his tie, pulling him gently in, and her eyes were glowing like embers.  He was smiling at her dreamily with one corner of his mouth, scarcely able to believe where the day had taken them.  He barely had time to glance at their surroundings, this being the first time he had visited the farm, and he saw a somewhat sparsely decorated, yet roomy open space with good sized kitchen with a small table and two simple chairs, a living area with an ancient-looking console TV and a much newer looking loveseat, and a couple of doors that presumably led to a bathroom and bedroom.  It smelled like coffee and eggs, fresh paint and drywall, and like her.  Suddenly she pulled him back into her by his tie, delivering relatively chaste kisses to his lips before speaking. 

"W-will you come to bed with me?" she stuttered, looking straight ahead at his buttons again and blushing.

It took Harvey no time at all to answer.  "Yes," he breathed.  "Yes, of course."  A blush was working its way up his neck as well. 

He suddenly became frightened, expecting her to push him away and tell him it was a mistake, that she would bolt from her own house and run away from him again.  He swallowed hard, frozen in place, very aware of his hands on her arms and his fingers that threatened to dig into her skin like an eagle's talons seizing its prey.  She looked up into his eyes and must have seen his sudden change in disposition, because to his horror she actually did step back, letting go of him entirely.  He was unable to contain a noise of despair deep in his chest and desperately hoped she didn't hear it.  "Harvey, are you alright?  You don't-- we don't--"

Desperately, he pulled her close to his chest and hugged her.  "I want to," he whispered.  "So much."  He kissed her deeply again, searching for the slightest hint of hesitation in her touch.  When they broke again he looked straight into her eyes with intensity and asked, "Do you?"

Lucy bit her bottom lip, looking all the world like she was reconsidering.  Harvey's insides dropped and he willed his face to be still and not betray him.  She answered: "So much." 

Slowly she reached down and found his hand, tenderly entwining their fingers together.  She led him this way to her bedroom and spun him slowly around so he was sitting on her bed.  Without breaking eye contact, she straddled his lap and met his mouth with hers again, kissing him so gently and lovingly that he felt like his heart would explode.  She worked his jacket off his shoulders and followed with the buttons on his shirt, but before she could undo the last one he reached his hands down her back and pulled up on her dress.  It slipped easily over her hips since the hem of it had risen to her thighs on its own when she climbed into his lap.  She raised her arms and he pulled it smoothly over her head.  She was wearing a delicate nude-colored bra with lace that matched her panties.  He brought his hands reverently up her sides, the pads of his fingers gliding along the smooth skin of her waist, her ribcage, the fabric over her breasts.  He brushed his thumbs over her hardening nipples and she gasped as her skin suddenly pebbled despite the heat inside the farmhouse. 

Her hands were moving under his open shirt, through the hair of chest, up his shoulders and neck.  She replaced her hands with her mouth, kissing up to his earlobe before taking it into her mouth and pulling gently with her teeth.  He groaned and fumbled with her bra clasp, silently thanking Yoba that it came undone almost immediately.  He didn't want to think about how out of practice he was as he slipped it from her shoulders and resumed touching her, cupping her breasts and teasing her nipples with his thumbs.  She tried pushing his shirt down off his shoulders but was stopped by the single button that was still fastened.  He suddenly took her hands into his and buried his face in her neck.  "Lucy, you're so beautiful and I-I-I-"

"Shh," she hushed him and gently raked her fingers through his wavy hair.

"I just don't-- don't... want you to be... _disillusioned_."  He was blushing furiously now.  It was still daytime and though Lucy's curtains were drawn over the single bedroom window, there was still plenty of light coming in that nothing would be hidden.  His walks around town weren't nearly enough to counteract the years of stress and poor eating and he had more than a few hangups about his aging body.

"Never," Lucy said, kissing the side of his neck again.  "I want you.  Only you and all of you."  She tilted her hips and ground down on him, sending sparks straight up his spine.  He was already half-hard beneath her since they began in the bedroom, and the movement of her hips was bringing him fully to attention no matter the storm of self-doubt raging within.  He felt pricks of tears in his eyes and lifted his head to kiss her again, hungrily and fiercely.  He pulled at his shirt, popping off the button and sending it flying across the room.  Lucy heard it hit the hardwood floor and smiled beneath his kiss, then helped him pull the sleeves off his arms.  She grasped at the bare skin of his back as he leaned her back in his arms enough to take a nipple into his mouth.  She whimpered and moaned as his tongue laved over one breast, then the other, his breath cooling the saliva that he left on her skin when he moved.  She reached down and felt his hardness straining against his pants, stroking the considerable length of him through the fabric.  He groaned against her and the sound of it drove her wild.  She hungrily undid the button of his pants and eased the zipper down as fast as she dared, then reached down past the elastic of his boxer-briefs to release his cock from its confines.  It sprang up, tip already damp with precum.  She stroked it firmly, drawing another delicious sound out of him.  His head was back now, mouth slack and eyes closed tight as he brought his full attention to her ministrations.  Her hand was so warm, so firm upon him, that he thought he might die right that moment.

She brought a second hand upon his shaft, using long, luxurious strokes that began and ended with her thumbs smoothing over the swollen head.  Occasionally she would dip one hand down to cup and stroke his balls, to run a finger up and down the seam before moving back up and around his cock again.  "L-Lucy if you don't stop now I'm going to... oh...."

Slowly she ran her hands up him one last time and he shivered, legs trembling.  He took a deep, calming breath, then picked Lucy up easily, earning him a delighted squeal as he deposited her on her bed.  He shimmied out of his underwear and pants, kicking them off his long legs to a spot on the floor near the door.  He looked at her for a moment, her lithe, beautifully toned form before him like a dream, full breasts resting naturally and beautifully on her chest, the fullness of her hips and her thick, strong legs stretched beneath him.  The corner of her mouth was drawn up into an easy half-smile.  She had a dreamy sparkle in her caramel eyes that drew him closer and then he was kissing her neck, her chest, beside her navel, drawing her panties down to reveal a neat crop of dark hair between her legs, kissing the tender spot where her leg joins her body, nipping at the inside of her thigh.  His mustache tickled her skin in an incredibly erotic way. 

She was breathing heavily in anticipation of what was next, and the sound of it was all the encouragement he needed to keep going toward his goal.  He gently moved his tongue between her folds, testing for sensitivity and exploring her slowly.  He teased her by drawing his tongue up to the stiff nub of her clit, circled it delicately as she moaned, then licked downward again to probe at her entrance for a moment.  She sighed with pleasure, but when he once again lavished attention on her most sensitive spot her sighs became increasingly desperate gasps and moans.  He sucked her and flicked his tongue upward, nearly sending her head into the headboard when she jolted from the sensation.  She cried out and grabbed his hair in her fist.  "Don't stop," she panted.  "Please don't stop."  He obliged and continued the sucking and licking that was bringing her to ecstasy.  He brought a hand down between her legs and circled her opening exploratorily with one finger.  The whine that brought out of her was almost too much for him to take and his cock pulsed with arousal as he pushed one finger, then a second inside.  He crooked his fingers upward and felt for the spot he was looking for.  Once he found it she gave a shriek and he felt her clamp down around his fingers.  He didn't stop ravishing her clit until the hand grasping his hair yanked painfully.  He raised his head and smiled as he watched her come down from the waves of her orgasm.  He discreetly used a tissue from the box on her nightstand to wipe his face before crawling over her, resting on his elbows, and kissing her deeply.

She had never come so fast in her life.  The way he used his mouth was incredible, and his fingers zeroing in on her g-spot like a missile were the icing on the cake.

She loved the taste of herself on his lips.  She was still quivering and sensitive but now that the full length of his tall body was perched over her she knew that she needed more.  "I have condoms in the nightstand," she said between pants.  He grinned and nodded.  She reached over and retrieved one and he rocked back to sit on his heels.  He pumped himself for a few strokes, not that he needed to.  The noises that she had made moments before were probably enough to keep him hard for the next few hours and provide him with imaginative material for months to come besides.  Lucy already had the package open and made quick work of rolling it on. 

He was big, bigger than she expected him to be.  Now that she had him in her hand again she had slight trepidation about whether or not she'd be able to handle him.  He was a tall, broad-shouldered man and it shouldn't have come as such a surprise that he was above average in that department, but his meek personality betrayed his gifts, a good portion of which she had just experienced.  She lay back and he gently pulled her further down the bed into a better position that he knew wouldn't put a strain on her neck and back.  The last thing in the world he wanted to do was hurt her.  "You're ready?" he asked, poising himself at the entrance to her core.

"You're so big, Harvey.  I want you to fuck me.  But... please be gentle."

He nodded at her and she bit her bottom lip again as he eased the tip of his cock inside her.  Her eyes fluttered closed and she gave him a deep moan when he moved in and out slowly, inching his way in just a little further each time.  He sucked air between his teeth.  She felt amazingly good around him.  She was tight, probably tighter than usual after her last orgasm, and she was the perfect amount of wet for him to move smoothly within her and feel the sweet friction through the condom.  When he finally bottomed out inside he felt himself bump up against her cervix.  Lucy gasped harder and he froze, terrified that he caused her pain.  "Are you OK?" he whispered with trepidation.

"Yes... please... don't stop.  Just... keep going."

He did as he was told and soon found a slow and steady rhythm.  He kissed her neck and she held on tight, so tight to his back.  He rocked into her and let her warmth wash over him, drops of sweat rolling down through the hair on his chest, her sweat salty on her skin where he kissed and tasted her.  It felt like electricity between them was building, like together they were a thundercloud of pleasure and emotion, their friction building up into something on the edge of nature.  She implored him to go faster and he did, pumping into her upright now with her foot hooked over his shoulder.  The sounds she was making now, sweet Yoba, those _sounds_.  He was losing himself in her moans and the way she was pleading with him not to stop, never to stop, saying his name over and over like if she didn't keep talking he would disappear. 

Lucy could tell that he was tiring, so she brought her leg back down and nudged him to roll over.  He picked her up again like he did before, his cock never leaving her, and situated them so she was on top.  From this position she could feel all of him and she felt so full, so happy to finally be sharing her bed with this sweet, smart, sexy man.  She brought herself up so far that he almost popped out of her, looked him in the eye, smiled, and slammed back down onto his cock with such force he momentarily saw sparks behind his eyelids.  She rose again and slammed down once more the same way, crying out loudly with pleasure.  She moved into a steady, if somewhat frantic, rhythm that matched his from before.  She felt the familiar tingle inside, the warm buzzing deep in her belly that meant she was getting close again.  She rocked her hips on the downstroke just the way she needed to feel him slide against her clit.  The feeling sent the sweetest shocks deep into her core, feeding the growing feeling inside.  "Harvey I- I'm- I'm going to come!"

Harvey bucked up into her with a series of groans.  "Ye- yes... I want you to come on my cock.  Is that alright?"

Lucy bit her lip and nodded, her eyes squeezed closed, her body moving faster and faster into the pleasure of it all.  When she felt Harvey's hands sliding up to cup her breasts and trace circles around her nipples, it was too much to take and she screamed his name, pussy pulsing around his member, coming harder the louder she cried out.  His movements became shaky and with a great cry of his own he jerked up into her once, twice, three times, four times as he came with her.  She folded over him and wrapped her arms around his neck, panting _thank you, thank you, thank you_ into his ringing ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first smut I've ever written to completion, that is, the first time I've written something naughty and not deleted it immediately out of shame because it was so comically bad. Constructive criticism is very, very, very welcome.
> 
> Plot will resume in the next chapter.
> 
> *Edit note: I changed some of the wording because, to my horror, I realized too late that I had written something that was very nearly verbatim to another absolutely amazing and glorious farmer/Harvey pairing here on AO3. It was completely unintentional and I hope I didn't make things weird.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which two idiots are too wrapped up in their own neuroses to see past their own noses.

Lucy woke up with Harvey's arms around her and his legs intertwined with hers like he was holding on for dear life.  To her surprise he was awake.  He was resting his cheek on her head and it was his soft breath in her hair that had stirred her awake.  She squeezed his forearm gently and roused him from his reverie.  "What time is it?" she mumbled.

"Oh!  Um, a quarter to seven, it looks like."

The angle of the light coming through the window told her that it was PM and not AM.  She still had plenty of time to close up the coop for the night.  She sighed with contentment and nuzzled further in against Harvey's broad chest.  Neither knew what to say but were happy enough to remain there in Lucy's bed, revisiting the past few hours in their minds.

After a bit, Lucy sat up and stretched.  She was still completely bare and Harvey studied his hands rather than stare, as much as he would have liked to.  To his great relief and disappointment she found a t-shirt on the floor next to the bed and put it on.  She asked if he was hungry.

"I could do with a bit of something," he replied.  "I wouldn't want to trouble you though," he added hastily.

She made a dismissive noise.  "I have plenty here.  How do you feel about a vegetable stir fry?"

"Sounds fantastic."  She smiled at him and he found himself blushing again as he watched her leave the room, fascinated by the way her t-shirt was just barely skimming the bottom of her rear end.  He leaned back against the headboard of the bed and let out a long, contented sigh as he listened to Lucy moving around in the tiny kitchen.  The last time he had experienced something like this was years ago in medical school and a bittersweet tang flavoured his memories.  That was such a long time ago in such a different place that it may have well been another lifetime.  Now, here in this farm just outside of the small town in which he had built his new life, he was able to luxuriate in the warm feeling of domesticity and the joyful knowledge that he was desired by someone.

Like a flipped switch, he suddenly felt naked.  Of course, he  _was_  naked, but his entire being felt like it had been laid bare in front of the world in that moment.  He felt shameful, guilty.  He quickly retrieved his clothes and dressed himself.   _Hide the thoughts._   He swore under his breath when he found the spot where his shirt button had been ripped off.  How dare he believe that someone could think about him that way.  This must be a dream, or a prank, or--

"Do you like eggplant, Harvey?" Lucy's sweet voice called from beyond the open bedroom door.  "I know it's kind of a polarizing ingredient so I can leave it out."

"Oh, uh...." Dazed, he stepped out of the bedroom.  "I think... yes.  Eggplants are rich in fiber and can promote heart health and, um...."

Lucy's back was to him as she stood at the counter chopping vegetables.  "There you go again,  _Doctor_  Harvey," she laughed.  "I didn't ask if they were healthy, I wanted to know if  _you_ \--" 

When she turned around to face him she stopped abruptly and her face fell just slightly.  Harvey's heart dropped to his knees.

"Aww," she said with a mock pout, "you're dressed."

"Uh?"  His head was swimming now, the whiplash of emotions almost too much to take.

She set the knife she was using down on the cutting board and walked up to him, wiping her hands on the kitchen towel that was thrown over her shoulder.  She rested her wrists on his shoulders.  A pleasurable shiver traveled up his spine when she pressed into him for a kiss.  "I'm just teasing.  You just look so...  _formal_  right now compared to me, anyway.  Let me get you a glass of wine."  She pecked him on the lips again before pulling away.

He nodded, unable to speak, and shakily took a seat at the little dining table.  His breath was unsteady, but he forced himself to slow his breathing and his mind.   _It's just your anxiety, Harvey.  Anxiety lies._

***

Lucy's heart had been pounding in her ears since the moment she left the bedroom.  She busied herself with dinner, all the while batting away intrusive thoughts like flies in her mind.  She held it together long enough to see Harvey off.  After all, he couldn't very well stay the night and return home tomorrow still wearing his Flower Dance suit; that would immediately be the talk of the town and neither of them wanted that kind of attention.

He left that evening after a last, lingering kiss on the porch.  She watched him disappear into the darkness down the road to town, suit coat over one arm and the remaining half bottle of wine in hand.  She stood on the porch for a long while afterwards, chewing her lip, before moving on autopilot to close up the chicken coop and make sure the farm was secured for the night.  She was buzzing with worry by the time she got back inside.  She opened another bottle of wine and turned on the TV so the house was less quiet.

All that talk about taking things slow, about not being ready, and one goofy dance with Harvey had sent it all out the window.

Sleeping with him had broken a dam of emotions, it seemed, and she was sure she was powerless to stop it.  The day had felt far too perfect to be real, so how could she possibly trust her feelings about it?  Being in his company felt so natural that surely the other foot was soon to drop and everything in her life would go back to chaos and disorder.

She poured herself a second glass of wine from the bottle and drained half of it before pulling out her phone and staring at the black screen.  She wanted to call him or send him a text to ask him....

Ask him what?  If he'd go steady with her?  If he changed his mind about her in the last 45 minutes?  If he was planning on taking her to the homecoming dance?  If he wanted to sneak into her window at night?  It all felt so childish and insane.   _A woman of 38 should probably have her shit way more together than this._  

She debated texting Maru, but it seemed wrong to discuss any this with Harvey's assistant, regardless of whether or not they were friends.  It felt strange being in this place of actually wanting to talk to someone about, well, anything really.  Therefore, she resolved, she would have to fall back on her old habit of bottling everything up and retreating inside herself.  That move had served her well for almost her entire life, after all. 

She poured another glass of wine.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey's got his hands full, a package arrives for Lucy, and she finds herself actually initiating another friendship. Now if she could only get her social anxiety to take a hike...

Harvey had spent the entire morning wavering between elation and dubious skepticism.  He knew better than to believe that Lucy's intent was anything other than bona fide attraction and affection, but his anxious doubts were plaguing him so badly today that he took half a pill of his anti-anxiety medication, that he only used for serious panic attacks, right before the clinic opened.

Maru had been mercifully silent on the subject of Lucy so far that day, not that there was much of a chance for the two to chat.  Between scheduled appointments and a number of urgent care visits, the clinic was unusually swamped.  Harvey was glad to be able to set aside his personal distractions and pour his entire focus into his work.  When his regularly scheduled lunch hour rolled around, he only had enough time to take two bites of his microwave burrito before Maru paged him with another urgent case.  A lot of things lately had been reminding him of med school and residency, and this was, unfortunately, one of them.

As he hurried back downstairs to the clinic, he thought about asking Lucy out for a big dinner after work and that thought made him smile.

***

She sat in the chair, pushed away from the table, staring at the small package atop the pile of bills and junk mail.  Half of her wanted to open it and the other half wanted to toss it directly into the trash.  The return address burned into her retinas as she stared at the red ink, the address of that damn house.  His handwriting.  His name, abbreviated A. Exton.  She tasted blood.  She had been chewing on her lip again.  She picked up her phone.

***

The temperature outside was much more seasonal, bringing welcome relief from the early heat that had hung over the valley for so long.  The soft scent of flowers was carried by a cool breeze through Cindersap forest.  Lucy walked with her head down, deep in thought, purposefully checking her stride so that maybe her slower pace would, in turn, quiet her hurried mind. 

Her attention was snapped by the sound of footfalls through the nearby trees.  The hairs on her arms and the back of her neck raised in alarm and her legs almost bolted of their own volition.  She was deeply relieved to see Shane push out from behind a pine bough and stop, looking equally as startled to see her.

She heaved a sigh and a small, nervous chuckle.  "Good morning, Shane," she said with a hand clutching her chest.

Shane stared for a moment, then shook his head with the barest of smiles at the corner of his mouth.  "Lucy," he nodded.

"Are you, uh, out for a walk too?"  The crease between her eyes betrayed a small cringe at the obvious question.

"Uh, yeah, just like, getting mentally ready to go to work."

"Do you want to walk to town with me?  I mean," she rubbed the back of her neck, visibly wincing now, "you're already headed to town.  Of course you are.  Would you like... uh... company...?"

He shrugged.  "Sure."

They walked in silence through the woods, past Marnie's house, and halfway down the path alongside the ranch's long southern fence before any words were spoken.  "What did you think of the Flower Dance?" she asked, instantly regretting it.  She prayed she didn't just lead him into opening a can of worms.

He shrugged again.  "I don't love dancing, but I guess I'm lucky I had Emily as a partner.  Food was good."  Lucy nodded and they walked on.  "I got blisters from the new shoes Marnie got me.  It's gonna suck unloading the truck at work today."

"That was nice of Marnie."

"Yeah... I thought it was kind of a du-- I mean... impractical birthday present but she means well."

"Was your birthday the day of the Dance?"

"Nah, it was last weekend."

"Oh shit, happy belated birthday, Shane!  I didn't know."

"It's cool.  I'm not real happy that Lewis puts everyone's birthday up on the town bulletin board for everyone to see, so maybe I should be thanking you for not looking at the calendar."  He spat on the ground and thumbed the frayed hem of his hoodie nervously.

"Well... if you go to the saloon tonight I'll buy you a beer anyway.  I'm still thankful for your help with the coop and all that."

He smirked.  "I'll be there." 

They continued up through the town to the main square.  Lucy stopped in front of the bulletin board outside Pierre's shop.  "This is my stop.  I'll see you tonight."

Shane looked at the clinic next door, then looked at her and smirked again.  She raised her eyebrows in warning against him saying anything about her and Harvey.  "Right.  See you." 

She watched him saunter off to Jojamart on the far east side of town.  Shane's remark about the town's community calendar made her curious about other birthdays she may have missed.  She recognized a few of the names but didn't see anyone she cared too much about besides Shane.  She wondered when Harvey's birthday was and made it a point to remember to ask him the next time she saw him.

The clinic wouldn't be open for over another hour and she thought about sticking around until then but decided against it.  That would probably come across as clingy anyway and besides, Harvey probably had work to get started on.  She headed back home instead.  She was full of pent-up energy after her walk and decided that now would be a great time to start clearing a new field for planting.

After an exhausting four hours clearing brush and chopping down scrub saplings, her stomach was audibly growling.  As she stepped onto the porch she realized she hadn't eaten breakfast.  When she opened the door and saw what was on her table, she remembered why. 

She stared at the package for a beat, then with a huff she marched past it and threw her refrigerator door open.  She decided on the leftover spaghetti that was probably a day away from hitting the compost pile and took it outside to eat on the porch steps and text Maru.

Hey, I'm going to the Saloon tonight to buy Shane a birthday round.  
5:30 if you wanna come  
And if you could mention it to Harvey I'd be grateful  
But I'll text him later anyway

There was an indication that her texts were read, but it took a long time for her to respond.

sounds cool  
super busy  
will tell doc

***

It was 30 minutes until closing time but the clinic waiting room was full.  Maru had warned him that three patients had come in at the same time, and he was in the bathroom splashing water on his face waiting for the paperwork to be completed.  He couldn't remember a day like this in his entire history in Pelican Town's clinic.  He was thankful for the income this day would be bringing in, but was unused to the volume.  Maru was holding everything together marvelously, and Harvey was relatively sure he hadn't started showing any cracks yet.

He looked down at his phone for the first time since that morning.  He saw a message from Lucy, an invitation to a birthday party of sorts at the saloon, and smiled.  He'd have to answer it later, however.  When he came out from the bathroom Maru was there and she informed him that three children from nearby Grampleton had accidentally disturbed a beehive and were covered with stings. 

Now it was time to go back to work.

***

Shane was at his usual table wearing his usual scowl when a pint of beer thunked down in front of him.  He looked up, ready to tear into Emily for bringing him another when he wasn't even halfway finished with the one he had, but found Lucy smiling down at him instead.  "Happy late birthday, Shane." 

He grunted his thanks and tipped his glass toward her before draining it. 

"I invited Maru and Harvey out tonight too.  I hope you don't mind."

"It's a public bar," he said, starting in on his free beer.  He ran a hand down his face after taking a large swig.

Lucy's smile had faltered.  He seemed incredibly tense, even more so than usual.  "Can I, um, sit with you?"  He shrugged and gestured at the seat across from him.  Even in the dim light, she could see that he had alarmingly dark circles under his eyes.  "Did something happen at work?" she asked.

He snorted.  "My boss is a dick."

"Want to vent about it?"

"Uh... maybe?"

"Was it aimed at you or a group?"

"Just me."

"In private or in public?"

He screwed up his face, not wanting to remember. "...public."

"Yep, sounds like a dick alright." 

They both sipped at their beers for a few minutes, both sets of eyes down.  Suddenly, Shane slapped a hand down on the tabletop.  "It wasn't even anything _I_ did," he said between clenched teeth.  Lucy looked up at him with wide eyes.  She had been startled by him for the second time today but willed her breathing to steady so as not to let him know.  "He was just scapegoating me to kiss some shitty customer's ass."

Lucy gulped at her beer to buy herself some time to calm down enough to speak.  "I'm really sorry.  Some of the worst people I've ever met were retail managers."

He waved a hand in dismissal.  "You don't have to say you're sorry.  It is what it is.  Whatever."

Emily suddenly appeared at the table with a plate of pepper poppers.  "Here's your appetizer, Miss Lucy.  I hope you're willing to share.  This guy's crazy for them!"  As soon as she arrived Lucy noticed that her perpetually sunny attitude seemed to have instantly lifted the foul mood that hung around the table.  Shane was looking up at her and it even looked like the corners of his mouth for raising.  Emily had spoken directly to her, but Lucy noted how her eyes stayed on Shane the entire time.  She hid a smile behind her beer.    After the blue-haired barmaid sauntered back to her place behind the counter, Lucy gestured to the food as an invitation for Shane to help himself.  He thanked her and took one immediately, hissing at the heat of it after he enthusiastically bit in.  "So what did Emily get you for your birthday?"

He went into a coughing fit.  His face went bright red and he took a swig of beer to try and clear his throat.  "What?" he croaked.

Lucy covered a laugh behind a hand.  "That was a bit of an extreme reaction to a simple question," she grinned. 


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey tries on a different shade of green.

Harvey waved to the last family as they exited the clinic before pulling the door closed and re-locking it behind them.  He turned around and surveyed the waiting room.  Maru had left it in good order before she left.  Harvey had shooed her off to meet Lucy at the saloon a full hour ago while he finished with his final bee sting patient, a 9-year-old boy.  The boy took his situation in stride, but his parents had been another story altogether.  Out of the three children from the bee incident that day, this one had been the least affected with a little over 10 actual stings to be treated.  It had taken Harvey very little time to actually deal with removing the stingers and performing an examination, but the parents had dragged the session out by asking (and re-asking!) question after question.  At one point the mother had broken down into tears asking if it was possible to go into anaphylactic shock any time in the next day, week, or month now that "the poison is in his system."  Harvey assured her that such a reaction was quite rare and wasn't something she needed to worry about, which then triggered another round of questioning about how rare, exactly, and what were the warning signs and oh, would you mind just pulling up that study and emailing it to us?

The hospital wing where the exams had taken place was a little worse for wear.  All three beds needed their linens changed and several trays of medical waste awaited disposal.  He worked quickly but it still took another 45 minutes for him to finish getting everything back into order.  He didn't bother getting changed, merely loosening his tie a bit before rushing out the door a little after 6 PM.  He guiltily checked his phone in case Lucy decided she had waited for him long enough and gone home.  There were no messages -- but of course not.  She had Maru there with her.  And Shane.  He entered the Stardrop Saloon and found the three of them in a corner booth.  Maru's back was to him.  Lucy and Shane sat opposite her.  They were all laughing hard about something.  One of Lucy's hands was wiping away tears. 

Harvey felt an unfamiliar, hot sensation creeping from the middle of his chest and up his face when he saw that her other hand was on Shane's shoulder.  He was laughing too, his beer poised by his mouth as if he was about to take a drink before whatever the punchline was landed, foamy drops of liquid sloshing onto the table and onto Lucy's shirt.  Stirring within Harvey was an anger that he hadn't felt in many years.  His hands were balled into fists at his sides and he consciously forced himself to release his fingers as he walked over to the booth.  With a deep breath, he put on what he hoped was a neutral expression.  He was met with a rousing greeting by the ladies.  Lucy stood long enough to give him a peck on the cheek before falling back down onto the bench and landing against Shane's shoulder.  Maru scooted over so he could sit opposite Lucy and Shane gave him a quick nod.  Lucy's back was up against Shane and she was laughing again.  Harvey swallowed hard with a dry throat.  Lucy managed to sit up again.

Then she smiled at him like he was the only one in the room and Harvey's simmering rage melted into shame.

"Harvey, are you alright?" Lucy was frowning now.  He had been staring blankly in her direction and wondered how long he had been doing so.

He removed his glasses and massaged the bridge of his nose with a thumb and forefinger.  He put on an exhausted half-smile.  "Long day," he answered.

"He wouldn't let me stay and help!" Maru said quickly. 

"No, no, I wouldn't dream of it.  The clinic is my responsibility, after all."  Any further discussion on the subject was halted by the arrival of Emily at the table to take Harvey's order.  She walked back to the bar to fill it.

"There-- there it is again!" Lucy giggled at Shane.  She bumped her shoulder against his.  Harvey's mouth was bone dry.

"There what is again?" Shane said grumpily.

"You, sir, have a crush." 

"What the hell, farmer?"  Shane usually had pink in his cheeks from his drinking at the saloon, but now Harvey saw that his face was turning a flaming shade of red.  A small part of him was pleased to see that he wasn't the only man in town with a predilection for blushing. 

Maru was giggling now.  "I can't believe you said it out loud!"

"You've got goo-goo eyes for Emily!"  Harvey caught the hint of slurring when Lucy spoke.  Ah.

Shane was slurring right back to her.  " _What the hell_ , farmer?" he repeated.  He didn't look nearly as scandalized as he sounded.

"Shane, it's completely obvious to everyone in town that the two of you have eyes for each other," Maru said.  She nudged Harvey's arm.  "Right, Harvey?"

"Oh, I, uh..." he cleared his throat.  Not only was he unaware of any connection between the two, but he was uncomfortable with discussing the private lives of two of his patients -- even if the situation had nothing to do with doctor-patient confidentiality.  "I hadn't noticed."

"Well thank you, doctor, for being the only one in this Yoba-forsaken mudhole with any sense of... of..." Shane waved his hand in the air, unable to find the right word.

"Propriety?" Harvey finished under his breath.  He knew exactly how the small-town rumor mill worked, and his anger-turned-shame now moved into deep empathy.  Emily returned to drop off a glass of wine for him and flitted away again to greet someone who had just walked in the door.  Shane was pointedly keeping his eyes on his beer glass.

"Aaaaaanyway, Shane was telling us about how sweet little Jas got mad at Marnie and put a chicken in her bed," Maru said.  The three of them cracked up once more, leaving Harvey feeling like an intruder.  At that moment he wanted more than anything to go back home to the empty privacy of his apartment.  He could feel sweat starting to form on his back and in his palms.  He took a single sip of his wine, which felt like it stuck in his throat, before excusing himself to the restroom.

He was infinitely grateful that the saloon's bathrooms were single-seaters.  He leaned back against the door after locking it, taking a moment to feel the coolness of the worn wood on his damp back.  He took off his glasses again and ran a shaky hand through his hair.  His pulse was pounding in his neck, his temples, his wrists.  He put two fingers against his carotid artery, trying to clear his mind and soothe himself with the counting.  When his pulse was back down to an acceptable rate, he slowly washed his hands in cool water.  His mind wanted to keep spinning and he kept smashing his thoughts down.  One thought, however, kept bubbling to the surface.

It was jealousy -- completely irrational jealousy.

There was just no reason for it.  But even now, thinking about Lucy's hand on Shane was turning his mind into a pendulum swinging wildly back and forth and to and fro between rage and shame, confusion and clarity.  For a moment he thought he was going to be sick and he gripped the sink in front of him.  He didn't dare look up into the mirror.  He couldn't stomach the thought of facing himself.  Instead, he forced himself to breathe.

***

When Harvey returned to the table he didn't sit down, but rather stood and waited for a break in the conversation.  He was visibly shaken, pale with a sheen of sweat on his brow.  Lucy grabbed his hand and found it to be clammy and trembling.  "Harvey, are you alright?" she asked for the second time that evening.

He shook his head.  "I- I'm not feeling well.  I'm going to head home."  Maru made a sympathetic noise.  Lucy tried to look in his eyes but he was keeping them locked onto their joined hands.  She started to speak, to question him further, but he pulled away and put his hands in his pockets.  "I'm sorry I can't stay.  Happy birthday, Shane."  Before anyone else could say anything, he was headed out the door.

Shane gave a wave in the doctor's direction even though his back was turned.  Lucy watched the saloon door swing closed, heart beating hard in her chest. 

"Poor guy, I don't know how he manages to stay healthy at all sometimes with being around sick people all the time."

Shane shrugged.  "Occupational hazard?"

Lucy started gathering her things and threw a wad of cash down on the table.  "I'm going to go check on him."

Maru nodded.  "This is the worst I've ever seen him look.  Take good care of him, OK?"

Lucy nodded back.  "Shane, this was fun.  Sorry it ended early for Harvey and me.  We'll do it again soon, OK?"

"I only got one birthday," he mumbled.

Lucy cocked her mouth to the side.  "Well now you got friends and we're gonna make sure you keep having a good time.  Right, Maru?"

"You bet!" she smiled enthusiastically.  "We're gonna have sleepovers and braid each others' hair and--"

Shane nearly spit his beer back into his glass.  "No one asked me if I wanted to be friends with a couple of weirdos," he grinned.

Lucy pushed the cash toward him.  "That should cover everything so far and more.  I gotta go."  She turned and fast-walked to the door like Harvey, not waiting for a response.  Unlike him though, she looked back and waved at her friends before exiting the saloon. 

She was over the line of buzzed, just beyond tipsy and into mildly drunk territory.  Her legs weren't working the way she wanted them to.  She stumbled over the cobblestones in the town square and arrived at the clinic door with a thump as her body lurched itself against it.  She raised her fist and knocked with her forehead pressed against the glass.  There was no answer.  She tried the knob and was surprised to find it unlocked.  Harvey didn't usually leave it open outside of clinic hours, which was all the more concerning.  As she entered the darkened waiting room she remembered the last time she had been in this position, that day when she made a fool of herself by kissing him and running away.  She ran a hand down her face in an attempt to wipe the memory away.

She called his name but received no answer.  Moving through the doors past the reception area she called again, and again was met with only silence.  Just like last time.  She knocked on the door to the stairs that led up to his apartment and called again.  This time she heard movement upstairs.  The door at the top of the stairs opened and Harvey's face appeared.  "L-Lucy?"

She ran up the stairs two at a time and nearly fell on him at the top.  "Harvey?  What's wrong?"

He looked shocked, maybe a little frightened as well.  He stared at her with such an odd look on his face that she wasn't sure if he was going to start crying or yelling.  Her hands were fidgeting in front of her and she and bit her lip.  "We were -- I'm worried about you.  But if you want me to leave..."  She lowered her voice and nearly whispered, "Please don't ask me to leave."

His forehead softened and his shoulders dropped.  "Lucy, I... I had a panic attack.  I'm sorry I caused... all the... t-this..."

Lucy reached for him but stopped herself.  She herself had had her fair share of panic attacks and she knew what he was going through.  "Can I touch you?"  He hesitated but nodded.  Lucy moved slowly, wrapping her hands around him.  The top of her head came up just barely past his chin on his tall frame and it was easy to nestle into his broad chest and warm neck.  She could hear his pounding heart and uneven breath.  "You take care of everyone around here," she whispered.  "It's my turn to take care of you."  She led him to his couch and helped him to sit.  After removing his tie and shoes she wrapped him in a blanket.  She rummaged around his kitchen cabinets and found where he kept his glasses.  While she was running the water in the kitchen sink waiting for the cold water to come through the pipes she didn't notice that he had risen from the couch and entered the kitchen behind her.  Softly he whispered her name and she turned her head.

His hands reached around her waist and he buried his face where her neck met her shoulder.  He said her name over and over, peppering her neck, cheek, and shoulder with soft kisses.  The water was running.  Lucy set the glass in the sink and reached up to run her wet fingers through his hair.  He sighed into her skin, his breath hot against her neck.  His hands traveled further up her sides, across her belly, over her breasts.  With each breath, his hands clutched at her with greater intensity.  Her head was turned toward him now and he was bent over from behind to find her mouth with his own.  Almost ferociously he grabbed her and held her tight, both their necks straining to meet the other.  She spun and pushed her arms around him, grabbing handfuls of the fabric that covered his back, nails scratching through his shirt and looking for purchase to bring him ever closer against her body. 

He bent his knees and suddenly her feet were off the ground.  She instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist and he carried her easily to his bed.  He dropped her on the mattress less than gently and then he was on top of her, kissing her with his arms wrapped around her like he was afraid she would sink down through the floor if he let go.  He broke their kiss to nip at her ear and growl, "I'm going to take you."

Lucy nearly came undone at that moment just from hearing the intensity in his voice.  "Yes," she hissed, head swimming from more than just the alcohol now.  He was clawing at her shirt, wrapping his fist in her hair, grasping at her skin and yanking at her clothes while always, always keeping at least one arm around her, needing to keep her there with him and against him and under him and around him.  The water was running.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Package opens, more questions come out.

They were sipping tea at Harvey's table.  He cupped his mug in both hands and stared at the rising steam with a pensive expression.  Lucy sipped at her own mug and reached over to add more honey from the jar on the table.  She brushed his hand tenderly with her thumb after she returned her spoon to her saucer.  "I keep asking you this, but are you alright?  Really?"

He ran his thumb up and down the handle of his mug, still staring at the surface of the liquid.  "I think so," he answered softly.  "That was... a strange reaction."

"To the panic attack, you mean?"

He nodded.  "Although I don't think--" he stopped and shook his head.  "I don't know what I think yet."

"I'm not going to complain about it," Lucy said, "but I hope that next time you feel so... bold... it won't have anything to do with your anxiety."

He looked up at her, one corner of his mouth twitching into a smile.  "That was somewhat of a new experience for me."  He thought about how her narrow wrists felt in his hands as he held them above her head, how she had moaned when he grabbed a handful of hair and pulled her head back from behind, how he had put his hand on the middle of her back and pushed her down onto the very table they were drinking tea at right now.

"I wouldn't have guessed," she said beheath her eyelashes as she took a sip of tea.  She was still a little buzzed from the saloon and the tea was hitting her stomach in a not altogether pleasant way.  She set the mug down again.  "Do you want to talk about why your anxiety was so bad tonight?"

Harvey shook his head.  "Probably just stress from work," he said quickly.  "Or nothing at all.  Anxiety can be that way sometimes."  Internally he cringed.  Though he spoke the truth about anxiety flaring up seemingly out of nowhere at times, he knew exactly what triggered it tonight.  He couldn't very well tell her that he got irrationally jealous of seeing her next to Shane.  His social anxiety putting a heavy weight on top of that was the least of his concerns.  Intense possessiveness toward her was what fueled his actions that evening.  The carnal pleasures had been enjoyable to be sure, but the emotions behind them were concerning.

"I should let you get some rest," Lucy said quietly.  She selfishly wanted to stay the night there with him, but she knew that he was likely exhausted.  Not to mention it would be less than ideal to try and share his small bachelor's bed or be split between the bed and the couch.  Harvey opened his mouth but closed it again with a sigh, apparently having reached the same conclusion as she.  He simply nodded instead.

She put her pants back on and gathered the belongings that had been flung out of her purse when one of had them kicked it out of the way earlier.  "Promise me that you'll call or text if you need to talk," she pleaded at him with her eyes.  "Promise me."

He nodded again as walked over to embrace her.  He cradled her head against his chest.  She could have stayed there in that position the rest of the night, inhaling the scent of him on his undershirt.  "I promise," he murmured.

***

She took her time walking back to the farmhouse.  Internally she was still reeling from the excitement of Harvey's dominant sexual energy.  She never would have guessed him for the type, and she was thrilled that it matched so well with her own relatively unexplored desires.  Tony may have been rough with her outside of the bedroom at the end, but he was never willing to do much more than simply fuck, even in the good times.

Tony.  Shit.  Her hand froze on her doorknob when she remembered what was inside waiting for her.  She groaned and thumped her forehead against the door.  She knew she had to face it sooner or later.  She pushed the door open and let it swing wide.  She was mildly disappointed that the package was in the same place on the table -- as if fretting about the thing could have made it disappear.  She approached it like it was a wild animal.

She knew she was being ridiculous.  She could just throw it away.  She could burn it in a bonfire.  She could toss it into the Gem Sea.

The idea of a bonfire actually sounded like a nice idea.  She grabbed the package and went out to the side yard where she had cleared out some space for a firepit and set up a few stripped logs around it for seating.  She hadn't had a chance to use the area yet because she had been so busy and since it was still relatively early in the evening it seemed like a fine time to light the inaugural flame.  In no time at all she had a roaring fire going courtesy of the dry brush she had hatcheted into kindling and the piles of logs that she had gathered and split from all over her property.  She sat on a log with the package at arm's length next to her and watched the wood burn and glow.

After side-eyeing the box a preposterous number of times she threw her hands in the air.  "Fine!" she said to it and pulled the box into her lap.  She yanked the tape off the top and wrenched it open.  On top was what looked like a wrapped up bundle of paper towels.  Beneath that was a folded piece of paper.  And beneath that was something larger wrapped in newspaper.  She began to unwrap the paper towels and when she reached the center something metallic fell into the box.  The sun had gone down and all she had to see was firelight, so she felt around blindly until her fingers closed around something hard and cold in a corner.  She pulled it out and stared at it, the firelight dancing upon the silver metal.  She let out an explosive burst of laughter as she stared at the object, a thick silver ring with a snake engraved on the top.  It was the ring she was sure was gone forever.  She gently set it beside her before unfolding the piece of paper.

It was a sheet torn from a spiral notebook.  On it was two words written in thick black marker: "I'M SORRY"  

She set this aside too and pulled out the last object.  It was soft, and the paper came away easily.  When she lifted it to see what it was in the firelight, she gasped.  It was a navy blue t-shirt with a faded, vintage Zuzu City Tunnelers logo.  The neck was stretched and torn halfway down the back, having been ripped by Tony's hands when he had grabbed her, slammed her against the wall, and half hissed, half shouted at her.  He accused her of running around on him when in reality it was he who had disappeared that day while she waited in his room, unsure of what state he was going to be retuning in or if he would even be back at all.

The shirt had once belonged to her grandfather.  She had taken it from her father's closet when she was still a child.  It was worn and soft and she slept in it for years.  Tony had destroyed it that night, the first time he ever laid hands on her.  Tears stung in her eyes.  Was this his final apology and concession or was it supposed to entice her back?  Why did it always have to be more and more questions?

She set the shirt and ring on her lap and threw the packaging into the fire.  The paper and cardboard burst into intense flames and dried the line of tears she didn't realize had fallen down her cheek.  She sat looking at the flames for what might have been minutes or hours before retreating to her bed with a mind and mouth that felt like they were full of ashes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony, Tony, Tony. I think Lucy is finally over your shit now.


End file.
